Yaaaay, it's the new year! Unfortunately I've been too busy to come online the last few days. I hope you guys didn't party too hard on New Year's Eve.

I partied with Jon and his family, and it was nice. They had a big fire in the backyard and we made smores! Unfortunately there wasn't enough chocolate for everyone because he has such a big family, so Jon managed to grab the last of the chocolate and he gave me half of his. After that we went over to where his brother was...

So it's New Year, obviously. And I have some things I want to do this year:

• Pass my driving test.
• Move out.
• Eat better.
• Be happy with myself

So, simple enough resolutions but all are time consuming which is why I don't have more than that. And I'm doing well so far.
I've booked a couple of (very cheap) driving lessons with the AA to get a second opinion on how I'm doing. My last instructor has given me over 30 lessons over the course of 10 months. According to her, I'm nowhere...

I don't know what to do anymore... I'm so depressed, I can't feel better, I don't find joy in anything I used to really love.. Everything just seems to get worse and worse and its making such an impact on me... I'm on medication, but its not helping anymore... And it feels like I have no purpose or need to be here and that the entire world would just be better off without me...

Went to pharmacy, picked up meds.
Went to supermarket, bought a loaf of bread.
Bread has gone up 10c. Lame.

Just standing outside having a smoke just now, thinking to myself -

What if I'm not actually unwell? What if I really just want attention? What if I'm not actually suicidal, I just want somebody else to take care of me? I don't know man. I get really depressed, but is that real? I get massive urges to do stuff, but doesn't everybody? I'm really

...