Today marks FOUR WEEKS self-harm free.

I will have to set a new goal. I kind of don't want to do another four weeks, because that feels like achieving the same thing twice, so I'm thinking maybe 6 weeks? I'm not sure, but I'll be discussing it with Debbie at some point.

Last night I got drunk. Why?, you might ask. Well, I was going through some stuff in my cupboard, and I happened to find a letter that was a formal caution from gymnastics a couple of years ago. I'd...

Yup, I did that today. Although prior to that, I woke up, went to the dairy, and had the second of my three blood tests done.

Oh, I also planned to watch the second America's Cup race today, as I was getting blood drawn when the first one was happening, but it turns out Oracle are pussies so the next races won't be until Friday my time. We're 4 points up at any rate, so almost half way to winning the thing.

A car pulled up at 9:30am, as I had expected, but then I had...

This is a super short poem I wrote. I started the butterfly project last night!
I glance at my wrist
And falsh of blue
I pull off my bracelets
And stare at the butterfly I drew

Outlined in black
with wings of blue
Helping me to remember
That there is hope

It terrifies me that since I've started eating regularly I've gained weight. I'm already obese. I don't want to be more obese. Will this correct itself once my body gets used to it? I'm scared and a large part of me wants to go back to just eating once a day. I may not have been losing weight but at least I wasn't gaining it.

Gym membership this week, I've done my finances, I'll be able to afford it, PRAISE JEEBUS, because if I'm going to be eating three times a day then holy fuck...

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There are two scheduled discussions on the topic of dealing with social situations/introversion in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST) and the second will be held at 8pm Central US time (CDT). All...

Okay, so you might not be aware of this, but I've headaches most days for the last couple of months, along with feeling tired and generally energy-less - even though I've been sleeping. You also might not know that I finally went to the doctor about the abominable abdominal cramps I experience when I get my period.

So, at the doctors, got sent for blood tests. Three. Once for a full count plus assorted hormones, one for progesterone about a week before my period, and one for FSH between...

Darth Vader: Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
Admiral Motti: Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerous ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the rebels’ hidden fortress…
[Vader makes a pinching motion and Motti starts choking] ...

Im Sorry
Im sorry I failed
I really did try
But I'm not good enough
I gave in

I want to scream at myself
For giving in
But the temptation was strong
Too strong for me

I look at my wrist
The marks of self harm
Freshly painted
On my now flawed skin

I cover them up with bracelets
No one notices
Or no one cares
Probably both

But to the people that do...

So I had stitches again, just over 3 weeks ago. A lot of other stuff happened too, although I don't remember precisely what, I do remember that I rang Debbie that Friday and we talked about how I'd said that I don't see self-harm as being beneficial for me long-term. Well, she said, what if we do a trial of not self-harming for a while? So that instead of being faced with stopping permanently all at once, I could attack it in more achievable amounts of time. We settled on a month. And so that there's...

Let the sun rise before we close our eyes,
Let's feel the poison in our viens & cry out for help,
Sharing warm alcohol on the floor, with bottles & money strung all over
Let the rain come down & wash away the sins.

It's all fun & games, the "high life" they call it,
Wandering around like idiots in the streets, drunk & wobbling
Forget education, friends, family
It's all about what you want, and when you want it...