After thinking about this for a long time, I have decided to tell my life story. I was born on September 12, 1996. I was placed in foster care a year later where I lived in a few homes. I ended up in a small town with a foster mother named Hattie. I enjoyed life at her house. I was a carefree 5 year old girl with no worries. Her sister, Joni, caught my eye. Soon she was bringing me around for play dates. We would go to the beach or eat supper together. I moved into her house shortly after. Two years...

Right. So I find my perfect family and it gets ripped away from me. Apparently I haven't suffered enough. I am such an idiot. I always tell myself that I won't mess it up this time, but what do I do? Screw everything up. I hate this. Whoever this "god" is that people talk about couldn't have made me anymore of a screw-up. I really want to curl up and die. I just want an escape from this hell.

Well I'm off to another day at school. The popular girls have decided I'm their favourite this week. *sigh* but I just got a cat. He's three years old. Orange striped. His name is Leonard and he loves to cuddle. his purrer is broken though. It's so cute! I think I have it right this time. The family I'm in now is amazing. Now to just get the papers done. Yay more paperwork. Oh well. It's definitely
worth it. Things seem to be looking up.

I am crying out
But can you hear me?
I kick and scream and shout
But it's not enough.
"it's just a phase" you say
But is it really?
I fight to live another day
Please help me.
"I don't care. You'll get over it"
I know but I just want a hug.
Because of you my heart is gonna split
Because of you I want to die.
"it'll do the world good if you just go away"
Is that true? Please...

I like boys and girls. All my friends know I have no sexual preference. There is just one little problem. Actually a really big problem. My mother. All my life she has told me everyone has to be heterosexual. Gays are going to hell. End of story. But as I started maturing I noticed I wasn't just looking at boys. And now I have accepted that I am bi. How should I tell my mom? Will she still accept me? And is it that important for her to know?