I'm so tired of initiating conversations. I'm through with trying. What's the point? My "friends" don't bother with me they make pathetic excuses just to avoid spending time with me. *I just don't understand what's so wrong with me. I try to be polite. I never ever let anyone know I'm struggling. I listen and try to talk to people yet no one has time for me. I wish I knew why but all I know is I'm not going to bother anymore. What's the point in mindless talk when it just gets thrown back...

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The worst feeling in the world is when you reach out to someone and get ignored.*
I really don't think I can take much longer. My head is screaming at me.*
I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I need you so badly but I can't be rejected again do I guess I just have to keep pretending. Keep reliving everything. Keep struggling alone.*
I hurt all over but that's nothing compared to the things going on in my head.
I wish I was strong. I wish I could reach out to...

So I've been gone a while. Sorry. I guess I should update you guys. *Basically I've not been coping at all. I'm not going to bore you all with that though as you all have better and more important things to be doing than reading about everything that's going on in my life. Sorry I've been gone so long. I hope that everyone has been doing ok. <3