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Ergh :/ *trig*
Posted April 20th 2011 at 10:43 PM by Anatidaephobia
Ever felt ignored? Like you're screaming at the top of your lungs yet still noone can hear you... Or they can and just choose to ignore you. That's How I am feeling right now. No matter if I am alone or with people I still feel so alone. I used to feel better been around people. Now I just feel worse. I feel like a fake. A stupid good for nothing useless fake. Pretending to be happy. Faking a smile. Pretending to be something I am not just to please them. I want to protect everyone from me. Everything I love I lose. Noone knows the real me and I feel so lonely. I want someone to hold me. Someone I can break my front with but I am scared to let go. Scared and alone.
I hadn't cut in almost 4 days. But I had to. I just couldn't fight the urge. I went do deep. It hurt but it felt so good. I just wish I was stronger though :/
I overdosed last night. Still feel awful now but that won't stop me doing it again. I want this over. Going to buy lots of pills tomorrow. Take them and make myself suffer like I deserve. I am horrible. I am not worth anything. I just want to curl up and die.
I keep getting images of me jumping of a stupidly tall building and lying there. Dead and everyones happy. It would be a relief for them. Maybe I should jump of that building. Noone would care. Noone would miss me. It would be best for everyone.
I feel so alone. Want this to end. Want to disappear!
I hadn't cut in almost 4 days. But I had to. I just couldn't fight the urge. I went do deep. It hurt but it felt so good. I just wish I was stronger though :/
I overdosed last night. Still feel awful now but that won't stop me doing it again. I want this over. Going to buy lots of pills tomorrow. Take them and make myself suffer like I deserve. I am horrible. I am not worth anything. I just want to curl up and die.
I keep getting images of me jumping of a stupidly tall building and lying there. Dead and everyones happy. It would be a relief for them. Maybe I should jump of that building. Noone would care. Noone would miss me. It would be best for everyone.
I feel so alone. Want this to end. Want to disappear!
Total Comments 3
Comments
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Babygirl, I hope deep down that you know you're none of those awful things you called yourself </3 You're a sweet, lovely, smart girl who's going through a lot of difficulties at the moment. That doesn't make you at all less than the wonderful girl I'm sure you've always been.
As fas as what you deserve, I can think of a few things but my list sounds wat different than yours. You deserve to be happy, to be safe, to be loved (by yourself). You're loved by other people and I can promise that you'd leave behind a big mess if greif and misery if you left this world before your time.Posted April 21st 2011 at 06:14 AM by Blair
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Stay strong <3Posted April 22nd 2011 at 08:51 PM by Victoria ♥
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Emma i'm so sorry to know you're feeling this way. I really wish I could help you.
Please hold tight, and stay strong. You will get better, I know you will. Remember it's only you who's gonna get yourself back up and out of that rut so make yourself do it. Do whatever you can to make things better for yourself. One day soon it'll be alright. xxxPosted April 23rd 2011 at 06:54 PM by x_sepi_x
