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this is where my life comes from reality to a page for all to see, laugh at, tear up over, cuss at, roll your eyes and shake your head. brutal truth is one thing. honesty is another.
how to deal...
Posted January 10th 2010 at 06:07 PM by broken
Ten months ago, if my boyfriend cheated, I would be alright with it as long as it was purely sexual. If she happened to be hot, I'd even want in on the action. I'd even be mad if he had the opportunity to do it with a hottie but didn't take it.
I got pregnant. And we got married. Five months ago, he started to sxt some girls. And I was alright.. at first. Things continued and I stopped being alright with it. He only stopped when he read the messages I sent to my friend saying that I didn't like it.
He's just started sxting again. Four girls that I know of. We just bought a house. Got a puppy a few weeks ago. I'm having my baby tomorrow. It's not alright anymore. And I don't know what to do about it. Do I have a right to do anything since I've already said it's ok? I asked for it. If I ask him to stop, he will. But it'll happen again, months down the road. When that happens, I wont know about it, and it'll be a lot more advanced than sex txts.
I admit. I didn't want to get married until after the baby came, because I wasn't sure he was the right one for me. Now we're married, and since I believe marriage is bonding and can only be broken through death, I feel like I'm stuck in an unhappy bond.. for life. I've contemplated suicide. And, against my belief's, I've thought about leaving him. The problem with that is I would be unable to support myself, let alone a baby. He goes to work everyday and makes enough money to support the four of us, including the puppy. But my husband hates helping me with him, and will rarely help when I ask, which is rare enough. That leads me to believe I'll be raising our baby by myself.
What really hurts is when I see him smirking at his phone, then turning to me and asking for some type of sexual activity. I used to believe sex was just sex, but now I understand there's a lot more to it than that, and frankly, want sex and sexual activities to stay between me and my husband. I no longer like sex. Who is he thinking about? And he never tries to please me anymore. I cry during sex now, and blame it on pregnancy pain. He knows me so little that he believes it.
I feel like I'm not good enough to be wanted. I feel ugly and unloved, and a little abused. My heart and all my emotions feel bruised. I know I'm not a very good wife, but I'm doing the best I can, as best as I know how. I feel unhappy. And he seems unhappy. He wont talk to me when somethings wrong, and I can tell.
I'm having a baby tomorrow. I'm not ready for her to come, and I'm afraid my relationship with my husband isn't strong enough to withhold all the stress.. especially since I'll be caring for her more, where as he gets to sleep in and do what he wants while I get the weight of stress. Oh that's right, he has to worry about keeping his affairs separate from his married life.
I come to TeenHelp because I only have one friend I can talk to, and he's first and foremost my husbands best friend. If I tried talking to my other friends, they'd never forgive him (which puts even more stress on me), and they'd only look at the point of view that "he's a cheater, get out NOW", which in my opinion comes after everything else has been tried and has failed miserably.
I got pregnant. And we got married. Five months ago, he started to sxt some girls. And I was alright.. at first. Things continued and I stopped being alright with it. He only stopped when he read the messages I sent to my friend saying that I didn't like it.
He's just started sxting again. Four girls that I know of. We just bought a house. Got a puppy a few weeks ago. I'm having my baby tomorrow. It's not alright anymore. And I don't know what to do about it. Do I have a right to do anything since I've already said it's ok? I asked for it. If I ask him to stop, he will. But it'll happen again, months down the road. When that happens, I wont know about it, and it'll be a lot more advanced than sex txts.
I admit. I didn't want to get married until after the baby came, because I wasn't sure he was the right one for me. Now we're married, and since I believe marriage is bonding and can only be broken through death, I feel like I'm stuck in an unhappy bond.. for life. I've contemplated suicide. And, against my belief's, I've thought about leaving him. The problem with that is I would be unable to support myself, let alone a baby. He goes to work everyday and makes enough money to support the four of us, including the puppy. But my husband hates helping me with him, and will rarely help when I ask, which is rare enough. That leads me to believe I'll be raising our baby by myself.
What really hurts is when I see him smirking at his phone, then turning to me and asking for some type of sexual activity. I used to believe sex was just sex, but now I understand there's a lot more to it than that, and frankly, want sex and sexual activities to stay between me and my husband. I no longer like sex. Who is he thinking about? And he never tries to please me anymore. I cry during sex now, and blame it on pregnancy pain. He knows me so little that he believes it.
I feel like I'm not good enough to be wanted. I feel ugly and unloved, and a little abused. My heart and all my emotions feel bruised. I know I'm not a very good wife, but I'm doing the best I can, as best as I know how. I feel unhappy. And he seems unhappy. He wont talk to me when somethings wrong, and I can tell.
I'm having a baby tomorrow. I'm not ready for her to come, and I'm afraid my relationship with my husband isn't strong enough to withhold all the stress.. especially since I'll be caring for her more, where as he gets to sleep in and do what he wants while I get the weight of stress. Oh that's right, he has to worry about keeping his affairs separate from his married life.
I come to TeenHelp because I only have one friend I can talk to, and he's first and foremost my husbands best friend. If I tried talking to my other friends, they'd never forgive him (which puts even more stress on me), and they'd only look at the point of view that "he's a cheater, get out NOW", which in my opinion comes after everything else has been tried and has failed miserably.
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