There's a voice in my head telling me to lose weight. Just x more pounds. Just until you reach this weight. Just until you're underweight. Just until your BMI is this. Just until you die.

I wanted to get better but I can't do it on my own. I keep thinking I don't have a problem, like I'm in denial, but then I realise, like today, that this isn't normal and I'm out of control. But then the fact that I know I have a problem means that I can't have a problem because people with eating...