The last few days my mood has been up and down like a rollercoaster. I've spent three days barely moving from my bed because I felt so ill after the busy days with my family. I've self harmed twice in that time. The one time I did get up I went to buy pills. I haven't taken any but I needed them as a security net. Just in case I get desperate. That sounds awful but that's where my mood is right now. I was binge watching Supernatural and feeling really awful and thinking about suicide, so I got drunk...