I was going to write this brilliant blog entry but let's just leave it as I can't keep my head above water much longer. It's like I'm drowning in my own mind. I'm tired and constantly low and constantly wanting to cry and hurt myself and die and just give up. I've just been low all the time lately. And I can't even figure out how to make myself better or drag myself out of it or what anyone else can do to help. Nobody else...

My friends tell me all of these cool stories about the things they do. And even stories that I shouldn't approve of but I wish I could do and get away with anyway. Going to parties, hanging out with friends, hell, even drinking and shoplifting and getting away with both. Buying this and that, getting tattoos/piercings, dying their hair. Getting new cars. Doing all of these good things for the community. Getting some award.

Having some talent. They all sing, dance, do something. Because...