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I'm not kidding.
Posted December 21st 2011 at 04:33 AM by Hopeyyy
As it gets closer to Christmas, my family reminds me how I ruined their Christmas last year, and how I better not ruin it this year.
Recap: Last year. I was angry. I was bitter. I was depressed. But mostly angry. I withdrew myself from everyone in the family. Christmas morning everybody went to open their gifts. I tried to stay in bed, but I got pulled out. They wanted to take pictures to see our faces. My sister Katie got money, my sister April got perfume and her special movie, my brother Sebastian got games. I, I got clothes. I had no experrsion on my face as I opened the gifts. After I was dons, I left the gifts, and the wrapping by the trre, went back into my room and slept. Apprantly not saying anything(If I did, it would have been more painful and harsh than this), gives them the idea I don't care. & that I hate them. Maybe I did. Maybe I do.
So, now they are saying I better not ruin it this time. That I better be happy with what I get. I don't want ANYTHING. I even said, "I don't want aything." I told them, "Then don't get me anything if you're afraid I'm going to ruin your precious Christmas."
I do not know why I am so bitter and angry. I don't hate Christmas. Trust me. But it just lost it's entire meaning. This is Gods holiday. This is for Jesus. Nope, not here, it's about "The good in boys and girls."
Bullshit.
They say they're HAS to be reason I'm like this.
Theres not.
And, what if I fall so hard into this anger I become a muderer? I'm not kidding.
I'm scared.
Recap: Last year. I was angry. I was bitter. I was depressed. But mostly angry. I withdrew myself from everyone in the family. Christmas morning everybody went to open their gifts. I tried to stay in bed, but I got pulled out. They wanted to take pictures to see our faces. My sister Katie got money, my sister April got perfume and her special movie, my brother Sebastian got games. I, I got clothes. I had no experrsion on my face as I opened the gifts. After I was dons, I left the gifts, and the wrapping by the trre, went back into my room and slept. Apprantly not saying anything(If I did, it would have been more painful and harsh than this), gives them the idea I don't care. & that I hate them. Maybe I did. Maybe I do.
So, now they are saying I better not ruin it this time. That I better be happy with what I get. I don't want ANYTHING. I even said, "I don't want aything." I told them, "Then don't get me anything if you're afraid I'm going to ruin your precious Christmas."
I do not know why I am so bitter and angry. I don't hate Christmas. Trust me. But it just lost it's entire meaning. This is Gods holiday. This is for Jesus. Nope, not here, it's about "The good in boys and girls."
Bullshit.
They say they're HAS to be reason I'm like this.
Theres not.
And, what if I fall so hard into this anger I become a muderer? I'm not kidding.
I'm scared.
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