I can't take this.
I have been single. And sure,now, nothing is wrong.
That's what it should be anyway...
But I want a guy.
I know, I'm waiting.
Waiting for it to "just happen"
But I'm afraid.
I am absolutely terrified....
That I am going to end up alone.
I wish when I had Bryan I had such knowledge I have now..
Then Bryan and I could have been perfect.
But that is all over now.
Alex is over.
Nolan...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
It's sucks. It will be my birthday in a couple hours and I have to go the hospital.
I lost my only friend, but gained my ex of four years. We are completely starting over.
And you know what??? I hate it.
Alan, was my only friend he taught me everything. He was my love and strength. I would give up Bryan(boyfriend) for Alan. Alan doesnt have a place in my heart. He became my heart.
My Family situation. I feel like I don't belong...

1. Love

I have no idea what the thing above is.... ok...
Soo, I can finally listen to sad songs withouth getting sad I learned from my only friend not to take things or anyone for granted. And I am not going to antmote. I will look back on the memories someday, not today, but someday. And when that day comes I am going to have someone beside me, anybody. Theyll be there watching and listening. That will be the day Ill smile huge, but it will be the day you realize you took me for...

Hey guys. I just needed to get this out of my system. Lately, for three or so years i have had this extreme pain in my left rib cage. It hurts and stabd when I touch it. It feels like it sqeeuzes that entire area sometims. I am really scared, because I think its a form of cancer. I am not sure, but I know I am at a high risk because of my artheritites. Yes, Im a kid, with RA. I have very scared, and realized if cancer woul destroy my life I would not want that to happen. So, I made an appuontment...

For a couple hours I was happy.
Now my depression is coming back.......................
I am so alone
I have ruined everything
It is all my fault
I am so so sorry

I cant live like this

I waann cut, as simple as that.
Tomorrow i will
Im tried of being strong
Im better weak nd covered in blood
F**KKK