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Posted December 1st 2015 at 09:12 PM by iambatman

I honestly don't know what to write about....I am upset. I am angry. I am depressed. I am excited...I am a mess...My mom woke me up from my nap, which I desperately needed because I haven't slept in 2 weeks, all because she needed the dishes done. I don't understand why she couldn't do them herself. It's not like she is sick or paralyzed. She is perfectly capable of doing some chores around the house. She told me she has to go get my brother from Akron before the 22nd...She told me I am definitely going to live with my grandma. But my grandma wants to have a "talk" with me before I move back in. Which is okay, I guess. When my aunt (Z) and I heard her tell my grandma I really am going to live with her, we got really happy...They were in the kitchen talking about me and we were upstairs in Z's room. Her room is right over the kitchen. We were rolling our eyes at every bad thing my mom said about me. Then when she finally sais something "good" we jumped up and down...I was super happy. My aunt and I have always been close-ish...But last Thanksgiving she started a fight and I had to finish it. But earlier this year when I lived with my grandma she was really nice to me. Which was nice. She visited me in the hospital. Which was nice because my mom hardly visited me. She only came when she had to. But Z was/is basically a friend I can talk to about literally anything. I always told her when I was being triggered to cut or whenever I felt suicidal. She is a really good aunt. Most times. And my other aunts are really good...I love them more than anything. I am just going to call them K and M here in my blog. M was a little crazy. She was in a psych ward for 4 years. Because my mom blamed her for my younger brothers death back in 2007. She now has a son...He's cute. He's only a few months old. K is really cool. She is like my best friend. She is extremely short and she is 23. Which is to my advantage. I can basically step on her. She gives amazing piggy back rides. She smokes with me...Which is really cool. Z smokes with me but only sometimes. K smokes a lot. And she has a really cool girlfriend. And she wants to take me to get a tattoo with her at some point. Which is awesome. Z and I were supposed to get matching tattoos but that didn't happen. Sadly. But it's is fine. Annnyywaaaaay........I am just tired.......I just want to get out of the hellhole.....
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