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I often think I want to die.
But I never do I voice this, to anyone.
I write it,
I type it,
But I paint on my canvas,
I make it into lyrics,
and cut it on my arm,
I burn it on my theigh,
I even alter my exsternal apparence,
But never do I voice it.
I will say it, and i will type it.
I want to die.
More than ever before.
But I never do I voice this, to anyone.
I write it,
I type it,
But I paint on my canvas,
I make it into lyrics,
and cut it on my arm,
I burn it on my theigh,
I even alter my exsternal apparence,
But never do I voice it.
I will say it, and i will type it.
I want to die.
More than ever before.
Is this life?
Posted July 19th 2009 at 12:36 PM by Just Another.
It’s started again, that feeling, that absent feeling.
I don’t understand God, why me?
Why am I the victim of Depression?
Why am I the victim of Anxiety?
Why am I the victim of Bulimia and Anorexia?
Why did those people hurt me, and touch me?
Why am I the victim of feeling this consistent nothingness?
Why am I the victim of mental illness?
I am almost ready to give up.
My family can't be fixed, it's to late.
My past can't be changed.
So do i accept this?
Do I accept that my sister will always be in and out of Physc wards monthly?
Do i accept my Father makes me live off Macca's vouchers?
Do i accept that there will never be enough food in the house to feed my sister and I?
Do i accept my Mother doesn't want me?
Do i accept she is an Alcholic.
And do i accept what people have done to me?
I don't know.
I am so lost in myself.
Every night, i self-harm. In one form or another.
Is this just a matter or accepting the way my life is?
Or am i just to cynical?
I think and question things to much.
Help.
I don’t understand God, why me?
Why am I the victim of Depression?
Why am I the victim of Anxiety?
Why am I the victim of Bulimia and Anorexia?
Why did those people hurt me, and touch me?
Why am I the victim of feeling this consistent nothingness?
Why am I the victim of mental illness?
I am almost ready to give up.
My family can't be fixed, it's to late.
My past can't be changed.
So do i accept this?
Do I accept that my sister will always be in and out of Physc wards monthly?
Do i accept my Father makes me live off Macca's vouchers?
Do i accept that there will never be enough food in the house to feed my sister and I?
Do i accept my Mother doesn't want me?
Do i accept she is an Alcholic.
And do i accept what people have done to me?
I don't know.
I am so lost in myself.
Every night, i self-harm. In one form or another.
Is this just a matter or accepting the way my life is?
Or am i just to cynical?
I think and question things to much.
Help.
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