Hate School
Hate Life
Hate Food
Hate TV
Hate Music
Hate Life
Hate Revising
Hate Stress
Hate Me
Hate Life
Hate Football
Hate Sleep
Hate Hurting
Hate Life
Hate Cutting
Hate Worrying
Hate Scars
Hate Life

Why won't things improve?
All I want is to live happily but can't do that!
Can't do anything.
Wish I had never been born.
Wish I could die.

Feel Like Dying

Went for a run this morning
Was good to know I can keep going no matter what
Went so so fast over 5 miles...
My legs almost fell off
I like being able to feel myself again
The stomach pains too
Bliss
I really need new blades
Mine are so blunt they hardly work
Might ask for things I can use for xmas
The irony of using blades my mother provided
Shouldn't really say that..
Shouldn't let people into my evil side...
Don't want...

I want to die
I can't fucking cope
So down
Don't see the point of living

Meant to be revising..
Cba
So tired and miserable..
Been tiding my room today with ma
Of course I had to hide some stuff in other places
But there's no room for most of it and it's just a huge pile half in my room half on the landing
Need to learn so much maths and english for when I go back
Will tomorrow though...
Hopefully I'll feel better soon
Hopefully I won't be so sad
Hopefully I'll be less of a pathetic idiot
I might as well...

*sighs* can't believe it
can't talk about it
made me cry though
then again i'd cried 4 times previously
think by the end i was on about 6 times of crying
cried another 2 since
that means ive cried 8 times already
so weak
and fucking mad

Sad and Lonely
Everything's going wrong
Don't feel like doing anything
Don't know what to do
The only thing I know is SH...
Feel so fat
Look so fat
Hate being fat
Wish I was pretty
Suppose I am being selfish
I am selfish
I'm just horrible...
And I don't know how to change Don't want to change
Ugh... I hate all this shit

Miss my old life
Wish I could go and play football with the guys
Wish I could actually do things
Hate being here with nothing to distract me
Just want a day doing fun stuff and feeling good
Don't really want to keep going
Don't even want school holidays
But like mother told me last night...
You should be greatful for all you have got and snap out of this moody attitude. It's not attractive, not cool and it makes you seem so ungrateful. But keep on...

I knew today was going to be bad, don't get me wrong
I even prepared myself, mentally like
I had some stuff in my head, I thought I'd make it through ok, I thought I would be able to cope...
I was wrong!
It was worse than I thought
I was swallowing to hold back tears
I just wanted to leave and die
I do just want to leave and die
Can't face tomorrow
Hate Life