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myself.

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Posted December 15th 2010 at 10:07 PM by xX-anna-Xx

December 15, 2010.


She feels unwanted and hated for many reasons. she feels stupid and useless with everything she does and says. she makes everyone feels like crap because of what she says and does. she cutes, just to feel the pain. it lets her know that she can still feel thing. she doesnt reallly feel anything besides sadness/hurt. cutting is her only realif most of the time. music is her only escape from teh world. she does have friends but she never sees them , which makes her more depressed. she love her amazing boyfriend tyler. but she feels like all she does is make him feel sadness and like a douch. she says she the worst girlfriend in the world, and nothing nobody can say or do to change her mind. shes worthless , useless and crap. seh cant do anything right in her father eyes it seems like.
this is not who she wanted to be. she hates herself alot, theres basicallly no hting she likes about herself anymore. even when everyone loves who she is and everything. she NEVER wanted to be a depressed scene kid that cuts themself just to feel. this isnt her, its a creation of the modern world with twist and turns mixed into one person. she thinkgs that all the time. she doesnt even understand herself anymore, she can barely remember who seh was when she actually had good self-esteem and liked herself. shes just a girl that wants to give up sometimes but , wont because of wehre sehs been , what shes been through and whos she has met along the way on this sad, sad journy. she trys , but yet. she doesnt try as hard as she use to , she
gives up easily now. slowly shes fading into nothing. nothing her or anybody can do or say to stop her. deep down she doesnt want this to happen, but its too late. she keeps slowly slipping. thi smay just be the end to a chapter in her book of life, or the ending of the book. noboyd knows, she doesnt even know. she wishes that she could say all of this , but shes afraid.. shes afraid that she'll lose everybody if they see that shes more weak than stronge. she needs everyone in her life , but slowly everyone is slipping away. she thinks running away is the best idea. she has her clothes already packed and ready to leave at any second she wants to. but , somethings holding her back. she thinks it because of her boyfriend , but she also doesnt want to leave her mother
and all the other only close people she has left in her life. she'll miss them to much and become eve more depressed. that would end up in her killing herself, then that would be the end to everything in her life. everyone would be happier , not having to deal with that annoyhing depresssed scene kid EVER AGAIN! thats when everyone would be happy again , and everything will seem so much better. they would never think about her again.
whats her name you ask ? its anna nichole. oh, and yes that is me...
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