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TigerTank77 Offline
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Name: Ben
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Location: NY

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Join Date: January 5th 2009

Unhappy Girlfriend's Depression is Picking up - April 28th 2013, 04:30 AM

My girlfriend's depression has been picking up lately. There's family trouble brewing, her parents may be splitting up, and it's taking its toll on her. She's strong, but also a fairly solitary person, and while sometimes she does come to me for help and support, she has a habit of withdrawing from the world when she's down. She's not a danger to herself, and she's on meds and seeing a professional. But for days sometimes, she wont talk to anyone, including me.

Sometimes I leave her messages once or twice a day, letting her know that it's all okay and that I miss her and I'm here for her. I make a point not to do it too much, because I know she just needs space.

But... I don't know. I talked to her briefly Thursday and then she dissapeared again. Before that I hadn't talked to her since Monday morning. I keep thinking about the state of mind she must be in to want to withdraw like this and it makes me feel awful because there's nothing I can do. My anxiety is all fired up and I keep hoping she'll text me and want to talk, so I can try to take her mind off of things.

I know there's nothing I can really do besides being supportive. I don't know what kind of advice I'm looking for, just rambling and hoping for helpful comments I guess.

Often I lie wide awake, thinking of things I could make.
But I donít seem to have the parts to build them.
I am so scared of what will kill me in the end, for I am not prepared.
I hope I will get the chance to be someone, to be human.

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Re: Girlfriend's Depression is Picking up - April 28th 2013, 06:16 AM

Hey, Ben.

Wow, umm... I've been in the same boat as you more times than I'd like. Sorta, anyway. My best friend does the same thing with the withdrawing from everyone when he's down. I am so sorry your girlfriend is going through that because I know just how badly it can hurt knowing someone you care the world about is going through such a hard time and you don't know what to do.

Honestly, I think you should keep doing what you're doing now. Messaging her a little to let her know someone cares but not a lot so she'll have her space. Sometimes I sub-consciously push people away when I'm depressed, and they don't really care to say anything else. That just hurts me more, so surely don't stop talking with her.

When she's not around for you to talk with her, I think it'd be best to distract yourself by doing things you enjoy. When my best friend would be sad, wouldn't reply or anything, I'd bury my head in games and music and kept messaging him every day seeing how he's feeling, letting him know how important he is and just waited it out. Sometimes you can't solve that person's problems, but at the end of a hard day it's always nice to see a message there knowing someone's thinking of you. That someone cares.

Could you set up a date with her? Maybe it'd help her if you took her out to get away from all these things she's going through at home. Take her out to dinner or a movie, or invite her to your house and cook her dinner and cuddle with a movie. I think that'd help her loads.

Hope your girlfriend feels better. I think you're a wonderful person for being so worried and concerned about her though. Always remember that while supporting her, take care of yourself as well and remind yourself you can only do so much for her. Every little bit helps.

Stay Strong <3
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