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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Telling a friend about my self harm - September 11th 2013, 10:02 PM

I am battling self harm, but no one I know in person knows about it. I have been thinking about telling a friend about it because I feel like i really need their support.
What is the best way to tell them? Like, how should I do it/what should I say?
And what is the vest method of telling them (face to face, text, phone call, etc.)?


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Re: Telling a friend about my self harm - September 11th 2013, 10:57 PM

Face to face is the best way. It might be trickier than texting or writing a note, but in my opinion it seems more sincere. And if I were you, I'd built up to the part about cutting. Don't outright say "I cut" then walk away, it's best to say something like "I've been depressed for a while because (blah blah blah, etc etc), and I've been doing something that I'm trying to stop." And then you can tell them. Explain why. And I assume that you're telling them because you'd like help recovering? So at the end, ask for their help.
Good luck, and I hope this helps you're really brave for doing this. Let me know how it goes.


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Re: Telling a friend about my self harm - September 11th 2013, 11:04 PM

Mad has very good advice. I'd say to tell your friend there's something you'd like to talk about, instead of bursting it out.
I didn't exactly plan on telling someone in real life but we kinda got on the subject of scratching mosquito bites and I sorta hinted it out without thinking and she found out that way, but I don't think that's the best way to do it. Although, if you text or in my case through facebook inbox, my friend wanted to talk about it more in person which led me to feeling so anxious because I've never discussed with a friend in real life before...so I'd say choosing to say it face to face right away avoids that build up of fear. Good luck and let us know how it goes :3
   
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Re: Telling a friend about my self harm - September 13th 2013, 07:47 AM

Hey there!

I'm glad you want to reach out and tell someone about your self harm. While telling someone face to face is sincere, I think you should do what you're comfortable with. You might be able to write out what you'd like to say and rehearse it in your head. Keep me posted if you'd like


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Re: Telling a friend about my self harm - September 15th 2013, 03:09 PM

I think telling a friend is a really good idea. Face-to-face is definitely best, especially if your friend may not understand self-harm. As mentioned above, it's a good idea to build up to it by telling them you're depressed and have been struggling. Also, know that it will be hard for then to hear about this, so don't be surprised if they freak out a little when you first tell them or ask a lot of questions- it just means that they're concerned. Anyway, good luck. You're really brave for reaching out for help.


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Re: Telling a friend about my self harm - September 16th 2013, 11:53 AM

This all seems like really good advice. You're so brave for wanting to tell a friend Also yeah if you tell them in person but can't say it aloud you could write it down for them to read. <3
   
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Re: Telling a friend about my self harm - September 26th 2013, 01:05 AM

This is a bery hard thig to do and you should be so proud for coming this far! I am a self-harmer and recently relapsed and I finally told my best friend. It was so hard for him to get his head around at first. I would say talking to them face to face is best but I have done it many ways for different friends.. My closest friend was obviously very worried and basically i "accidentally" rolled my sleeves up and he saw and we chatted for a while.

Trust me, once you get this out you'll feel much better. You could even write a letter, sing a song.. It may sound silly but some people can express better through songs :3
Well done and I hope your friend understands best to their ability.. Some people find it hard to believe that someone close to them has harmed themselves in such away. I think you can do this, you've already came far.. Message me if you want some more help or to chat etc
   
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Re: Telling a friend about my self harm - September 29th 2013, 04:29 AM

Well when I first started cutting, the first person I told was my boyfriend. Well he's my ex boyfriend now but thats not what caused it. He wasn't very supportive at first, he kinda made me feel bad which REALLY didn't make me feel any better, but when he saw how much I was hurting he tried to support me although he didn't really help that much. But then a girl who was "scene" at my school came to a church lock-in with me and she told me about her cutting though she was extremely timid about it. When I told her I had the same problem she really felt like she could talk to me. She shared with me why she cut and I expressed my reasons as well. Telling a friend can be a very good expierience or it can be bad. Depending on what type of friend it is they might tell on you or they might actually try to help you themself. But don't be scared to ask for help because your true friends will tell you that they love you and they will ALWAYS be there for you if you need them. No matter what people say you ARE loved and you are worth so much.
   
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Re: Telling a friend about my self harm - October 1st 2013, 10:34 PM

Talking to them in person is always the best. That way nothing gets communicated wrong. Just be honest with them and tell them what you need them to do to be supportive. That way they don't have to be worried about saying the wrong thing.


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