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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 21st 2013, 10:21 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hi, i need some help, i sometimes self harm, not deep but enough to make me bleed, i stop eating every once in a while, and i really want to tell my old english teacher, before he asked me if everything was okay and that i can talk to him on the last day of term, im back at school now&he's not my teacher, ive tried asking him before but i ended up just saying i forgot my book, nowadays he cant even look at me, he tries to get away from me alot, did i freak him out? And how could i tell him?
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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 21st 2013, 12:21 PM

Just go up to him and say something along the lines of "before, when you asked if I was okay, and I kept coming back to class to 'get a book I forgot', I really just wanted to tell you about some problems I'm having." And you can go on from there.
Even writing a note might be better, if it makes you nervous to talk to him. Explain everything, and tell him that you're writing this to him because you trust him/want help, and leave it in his mailbox. This way, your thoughts won't be jumbled up, and you have time/are able to plan out what you want to say.
I'm proud that you want to seek help <3 good luck, and stay strong.


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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 21st 2013, 02:36 PM

You didn't freak him out, I can promise you. I'm sure he's a little stressed with the beginning of the year right now (if you're in the beginning of the year.) I'm glad that you want to tell him about this. You could start by telling him that you've been meaning to tell him. When I did it, I wrote a note and that helped me form my thoughts. It may be scary, but it feels like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. If you need anything, let me know


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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 21st 2013, 03:25 PM

Hey there, Zara!

I agree with the other replies that writing a note is a good way to go about this. It can be easier than saying it face-to-face, and you can think more clearly about what you write down. I also doubt you freaked him out. It may seem like he's avoiding you, but he could just be busy or stressed out, as teachers do have rather busy jobs which involve contact with a large number of people.

I wish you the best of luck in telling him! Feel free to send me a message if you need help with anything. Take care!

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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 23rd 2013, 05:55 AM

Hi, Zara.

It's awesome that you want to ask your teacher for help and you should be so proud of yourself. Reaching out for help is the first step to being happier, and a teacher is often a good person to go to. I like the suggestion others gave you to write him a letter, since it's often easier than talking face to face. If you'd rather talk to him in person, though (because it really depends on the person/situation), then you could just go talk to him during a free block of time or you could write him a note saying that you'd like to talk about something personal. I would definitely include that it's personal/serious/etc. so that he's prepared and has an idea of what the conversation will be about.

I also agree with the other posters that it's very unlikely he's trying to avoid you. He has no reason to do that and he's probably just very busy, as teachers are. Maybe he just doesn't have time to talk to students as much as usual. Don't let this stop you from talking to him; he's stated before that you can talk to him about stuff, and so he clearly wants to help you if you need it. And don't worry about how it will turn out or how to actually talk to him. Don't think about it too much. Just go into the conversation with the first thing you want to say - some way to start it off - and let everything take care of itself after that. I know it's nerve-wracking and scary to talk to someone about this kind of thing because I've been through this a couple of times with my teacher, but it really will be okay. When I did it, I was so surprised both times at how well it went. Just let the conversation happen.

Finally, although you probably already know this, be sure to remember that he will be required to report that you are self harming. This doesn't mean that he isn't trustworthy or won't help you or wants to get you in trouble. He's just required by law to report it if he finds out that a student is in danger. He will lose his job and could even go to jail if he doesn't tell someone. This isn't a bad thing, though - all it means is that you will get professional help, which is what you want in the end, right? And he can still help you and support you, too.

I hope everything goes well for you and that you decide to talk to your teacher. I'd love to know how it goes! If you need anything or want to talk, feel free to PM/VM me anytime.

~Hailey







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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 27th 2013, 06:26 PM

Thankyou Everyone! im still really nervous but im gonna leave a note on monday wish me luck!
   
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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 29th 2013, 03:31 PM

It's amazing that you are leaving the note for him! I bet everything will go really well, but you'll have to let us know how it all goes! It's really worth it to have support, though, so you're doing the right thing.


   
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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 30th 2013, 04:35 AM

Hey there,

I am glad you felt comfortable with leaving a note. I really hope that it goes well and I am wishing you the best of luck. Please know that if you need anything you can message me.


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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 30th 2013, 09:53 PM

I hope everything works out, and that you did it.
Good luck and I really hope things are okay.
   
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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - September 30th 2013, 10:00 PM

Good luck! Keep us posted if you'd like


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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - October 1st 2013, 07:34 AM

I hope that your teacher reacts the way that you want him to. Good luck


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Re: How can i tell my teacher i self harm? - October 1st 2013, 01:03 PM

tell your teacher the truth. thats all you can do. be honest and tell him that you sometyimes self harm. teachers are trained for this sort of thing. at least to an extent.
   
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