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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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No harm contract? - January 26th 2014, 03:49 PM

What happens when you break a no harm contract?


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Re: No harm contract? - January 26th 2014, 04:23 PM

Hey there!

Sorry to hear that you broke your no-harm contract. I had to sign quite a few with the school, and I often broke them. Did you sign yours with the school? If so, I don't think you're obligated to say anything if you don't want to. They already know that you self-harm. You could tell them if you'd like, though.

In my experience, I have found no-harm contracts unsuccessful. The reason for this being that holding a promise going "cold turkey" holds a lot of pressure. Maybe you could talk to whoever made you sign one and try to work something else out? Like a goal, perhaps? You could start with a week, and slowly build from there.

Feel free to message me.


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Re: No harm contract? - January 26th 2014, 04:25 PM

Nope, not at school, at my therapist who almost tried to pink slip me into the hospital.


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Re: No harm contract? - January 26th 2014, 04:28 PM

Oh, alright. Just keep in mind that your therapist cares about you and wants to do nothing but help. The next time you see her, maybe you should tell her.

It's okay to relapse, everyone does it at some point in time. It just means that you're human.

Best of luck to you!


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


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Re: No harm contract? - January 26th 2014, 04:30 PM

Thats a good question... I did some research on this question because I was pretty curious on that question
I personally don't like the contracts. I never had to sign one, but to me you shouldn't be force to stop. It should be on your own free will. Even I recommend you do stop!
In the end they want you to be safe and that's why they wanted you to sign a contract saying you won't harm yourself. That's the reason why you probably signed it. If you do harm yourself, please don't keep it a secrete from them they want you to be honest with them if you do break the contract. Honesty is the best policy when it comes down to. They probably recommend some other treatment. But they might not. It kinda depends on who you are recieving help from and what type of person they are. But they want you to be safe. Which is pretty understandable.
Feel free to PM/VM me if there is any other questions or if you want to talk I hope all goes well
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Re: No harm contract? - January 26th 2014, 05:32 PM

What was listed on the contract as possible "consequences" if you break it? For example, did your therapist mention something such as pink slipping you if you break it, or what? Maybe you can ask her hypothetically what would happen if you break the contract and let her know that you are just confused about what the consequences will be. She should have to answer you about that, because you should know what you're getting into!


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Re: No harm contract? - January 26th 2014, 05:48 PM

My contract doesn't have any specific consequences on it, it just says to notify certain people that I intend to self harm.

I recall my therapist telling me that if I felt any urge to call one of the people on the list and have them pink slip me, so if I do tell her I broke it then I will be hospital bound (possibly) I will only be hospital bound if I fail my assessment, which I may.


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Re: No harm contract? - January 27th 2014, 08:33 AM

As stated above, Honesty is the best course to take.

I understand you delima, I also don't think forcing someone to sign a contract stating they will stop self harming is an appropriate way to handle someone who is self harming, It is very rare that a person will not relapse....everyone has there faults, were only human after all.

If I were you, AND IM NOT!!!!
I would just go to your therapist and tell him/her that you relapsed and broke your contract...tell them you tried, but failed...they can't honestly expect you to never have a relapse....

I wish you the best in your decision.

We learn more from failure then from success,
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Re: No harm contract? - January 28th 2014, 12:29 AM

Hey there,

Do you think you could try talking to your counselor and explain to her that you broke the contract and explain that you don't find this course of action beneficial? And, from there maybe you two could work on some other course of action to try and stop your self harm. I liked the idea of setting up goals for you to try and reach. Such as going a week and then setting another goal and so forth. You need to be the one who wants to stop self harming and a no harm contract isn't going to do it unless you want it. I think, in the future, it would be a good idea if you tried calling some of the people you jotted down on the contract though. Is there a reason you didn't feel like you could call them? I know sometimes when I am having urges I will feel like I can't reach out but I will have to force myself to do it. It can be really hard to do but once you reach out and talk about it it can feel really good. So, remember that there are always other options besides self harm sometimes you just have to take a step back and assess things.

If you ever want to talk please feel free to message me.
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