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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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fight.for.it Offline
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Unhappy just told someone about self harm - October 9th 2015, 06:39 PM

So, I finally told a teacher about my self harm and it didnt go well. He made my parents come in and we talked about it.my dad seamed ok with it but it was the worst 1hour of my life. I sat the whole way through just wishing I wasnt there. I now have to go and talk to a school nurse. I dont mind this to much but my dad wants to talk to me when im at home, but I dont want to talk to him about it. Id rather talk to someone at school but he still wants to talk about it. I understand that he is proberaly just worried and wanta to help but It is making things worse with him wanting to talk all the time. I feel like I cant even go downstairs without him wanting to talk. What should I do?????
   
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Re: just told someone about self harm - October 9th 2015, 08:48 PM

Hey.

You did so well by talking to your teacher about this. It must have taken a lot for you to open up about it so you should be proud of yourself regardless of the outcome. I'm sorry that you're not comfortable with the fact of your dad wanting to talk about it often. You are right though, your dad seems worried and wants to help you. You're his child, he loves you and he sees that you're obviously struggling, so he probably doesn't know how else to help other than listen to you which is a great approach. He doesn't seem to be trying to make you quit or be reacting in negative ways that won't help, but talk about it instead to see if he can be of any help/support. Is it okay if I ask why you don't want to talk to your dad about this? I understand there are some people you feel comfortable with talking about sensitive issues with and some you just aren't comfortable with but it could really help if a parent were to understand what you're going through so you can have support at home.

You can write a note to your dad if that'd be easier for you than verbally talking. But if you aren't comfortable talking with him and you feel uncomfortable when he tries to approach you about it so often, it might be a good idea to kindly and respectfully tell him that you appreciate him offering to let you talk about it but you don't feel like opening up about it just yet.

Eventually I do hope you let your parents in on what you're going through. You shouldn't have to go through this alone. Stay strong and hold on, you can do this!
   
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Re: just told someone about self harm - October 10th 2015, 06:59 AM

Hey,

It can be hard to talk to your parents and I know you felt uncomfortable when they found out, but I am glad your parents are aware of what you're going through. It can sometimes be easier to talk to people you don't see on a daily basis and I think talking to the school nurse or to a school counselor can help you out. Parents don't usually know what to do in this situation, so it's important for you to tell him how he can help you. If that means asking him for some space, then hopefully he'll understand.


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Re: just told someone about self harm - October 10th 2015, 07:23 PM

Hi there.

Firstly, I want to say a huge congratulations for reaching out for help. I know this can be a really hard thing to do but you've done it so be really proud of yourself!

I'm sorry you feel it didn't go well but to me, it looks like you have gotten something out of it which is really great. Its good you feel like you want to talk to the school nurse and I hope that all goes well and that you do manage to form a relationship with them and that you do manage to talk to them about how you feel and what's going on for you right now because you deserve that support. Just remember it might be hard at first but in my experience, as you build trust up in a relationship, it gets easier so keep that in mind!

You are your dads baby, no matter how old you are and you always will be. He loves and cares about you and wants what is best for you, you know? And I can understand you feel you don't want to talk to him about all of this because its a scary thing but maybe its worth giving it a try? Just once and if it doesn't go well or you really felt uncomfortable then talk to him about that and tell him and explain you now have support from your school nurse and that you feel thats enough and you don't feel able to talk to him. If you really don't want to talk to him then explain all this from the start but it might be worth giving it a shot you know? I never used to talk to my mum, but now I can more and it actually helps most of the time. Its often late but when I do, its so good to know she's there and it'd be really great for you to have that too. Is there a specific reason you don't want to talk to your dad or do you just feel uncomfortable?

Either way, I hope you get all the support that you need and that things start to look up for you. Remember we're always here for you too, so feel free to reach out to us any time you need us. Don't be alone!

Tale good care of yourself.
Jessie


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