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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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nightingale206 Offline
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Self Harm - October 19th 2015, 08:55 PM

<p>im really quite scared and im not sure what to do. i self harmed in the past and im scared with the things going on in my life at the moment that i will start to do it again. my mum found out the first time and i know it will destroy her again ... please help me
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Re: Self Harm - October 19th 2015, 09:45 PM

What you you need to do is if you feel the urge begin, distract yourself. Go for a job, watch a funny tv show/movie, listen to some happy music, read a good book etc. Even if you have to keep doing things for a while until the urges subside, it is way better than giving in to the temptation of hurting yourself.

Can't stop now, I've traveled so far. - Foreigner

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. - Garth Brooks

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Re: Self Harm - October 19th 2015, 11:13 PM

When someone finds out that you self harm it can be scary, but just remember that she is your mum and she only wants what's best for you. If you need to, you can talk to someone else as well, if you don't trust your mum like you would someone else, like a teacher or another adult if you are scared you will do it again.

If you feel the need to self harm again, there are some ways to distract yourself from wanting to. Here is a list of alternatives if you need them to find some more ways that would help. Talking to a friend for an hour or so until you don't feel the need to anymore could also help, you don't even have to tell them why you are calling.

Stay safe and stay strong ❤❤

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Re: Self Harm - October 20th 2015, 11:48 PM

Hey there.

I'm sorry you're currently struggling with self-harm. It sounds as if things in your life along with urges are difficult to manage right now.

Having your mom find out must have been scary. You are caring for not wanting to hurt her further but the truth is, her reaction just shows she cares a lot for you. Would it help to go to her about how you are feeling instead? Having her support could be helpful, comforting and hopefully help you through the feelings and urges you're having. She's your mom, she loves you and I am sure she'd be more than happy to listen to you. As mentioned, there are also additional adults you can go to if there's anyone you feel comfortable confiding in. A family member, a teacher or the school counselor for example. On that note, would you like to talk about what is going on in your life with us? You're welcome to share if you're comfortable enough. Sometimes simply venting can get things off your chest.

Do you know of anything that will help you cope in healthier ways right now? Do you have outlets and ways to express yourself? Journaling, creative writing and other creative hobbies can allow you to get your emotions out in a way that doesn't hurt you which is good. Hobbies in general and other relaxing, time-consuming distractions could be helpful too such as coloring. Exercise can be a good alternative as it releases endorphins just as self-harm does. On the subject of alternatives, I suggest checking out the list that Hilary linked. There are lots of alternatives that you can try out until you find a good few that work for you.

Something that may help you through difficult times such as this one is setting small goals. Set a self-harm free goal for a few days or a week, once you reach it, set another goal for another week and so on. There is also the 15 minute game where you don't self-harm for that 15 minutes and do other things to distract yourself during urges, once you go 15 minutes, try for another 15 minutes and so on. This could be good as it allows you to not feel so overwhelmed with large goals but rather take it step by step.

Just know that you can get through this without self-harm. You are already doing so well by simply reaching out here. You're strong enough to get through this so don't be afraid to reach out here for support through this and just hold on. Take care and stay strong. Recovery is possible.
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Re: Self Harm - October 21st 2015, 06:15 PM

Hello there,

Firslty I want to tell you how glad I am that you have been able to recognise that you are struggling and also that you need some help. Well done for reaching out to us here. I know it can be quite scary talking to us about things but you have done really well to open up to us and I hope we can help you a little bit. It sounds like you are going through a rough time right now. You're scared which is a horrible feeling to have and it sounds like its there a lot for you right now and on top of it you don't know what to do which can leave us feeling quite lost and confused. Do you feel that way at all? If you do I am so sorry that you do indeed feel that way but again, hopefully we can help you.

Can I ask whether there was anything that triggered you self harm in the pas? If there is something and you want to talk to us about it then know that we're here for you and we'll listen with out judging you and try our best to support you through it, okay? Also, you're scared with what's going on in your life, you're going to start hurting yourself again? What is going on in your life right now, if you don't mind me asking, to make you feel so low? Again, we're here to listen to you and support you through it but if you don't want to talk to us about then know that is okay too. Its what ever you feel comfortable with. It just concerns me that there is something terrible going on to make you want to harm yourself and I wish I could do something more to help, but unless you try to open up a little more, I can't me much more of a help. And thats all I want to do, help.

Self harm is hard to fight but as hard as it is, people do overcome it and live lives with out it and move forwards and so can you. What ever it is going on for you right now, self harming isn't going to make any of it better or make any of it go away. The problem is still going to be there if you self harm. However, you would be creating a new problem which would be the self harming. You deserve to look after yourself and take care of you because you don't deserve to be hurting yourself at all. You ARE worth a lot more than that.

It destroys your mum because you always have been and always will be her baby. She cares about you and even more so she loves you and just wants you to be okay and well. She doesn't want to see you hurt. Maybe try and talk to her about things and be honest? I know that is so scary but she'd rather you talk to her now than her find out you started self harming a few months down the line. She just loves you and its okay for you to let her in.

Just know that if you ever need anything then you are more than welcome to message me. I might not be able to help much but I will always try my best and fight through the hard times with you as best as I can. Because YOU matter. Okay?

Hopes and wishes,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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