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Sleepwalker Offline
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Cutting when happy? - January 5th 2011, 05:07 AM

I don't understand why. But even at moments when absolutely nothing is going wrong, and I'm as happy as could be, I suddenly feel the need to cut.

I can understand cutting when I'm sad, but when I'm happy? I just don't know. Has anyone else done this?

How far do I have to go to make you understand?
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Re: Cutting when happy? - January 5th 2011, 06:06 AM

Hey. I can relate to some degree. For me, my self-injury became so much of an addiction that I would cut whenever. When I had some free time, when I was bored, when I was elated. It became the only way to handle almost any emotion.

It kept me calm, almost. Made those good moments feel more realistic. I also found it as a form of punishment. If I didn't think I should be happy, I might harm just to punish myself. But that stems from a long way back.

I don't know if that helps any, but you are definitely not alone.

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Re: Cutting when happy? - January 5th 2011, 06:22 AM

I'm like that...I can be having the best day and be in the best mood and the sight of something sharp or the thought of something will just trigger me..I'll still be in a great mood, I'll just want to cut really badly.

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Re: Cutting when happy? - January 5th 2011, 11:14 AM

I always felt different when I cut because when I read other people's stories it seemed like they cut when they were angry, sad or numb or because something had triggered them and for me it wasn't always like that. I can't simply explain what it was like for me though because there were different times but there were times when I cut when I wasn't sad. I wouldn't say that I was happy because at the time I couldn't define times when I was happy but I was calm and focused. I think it's good that you're questioning why you cut when you're happy because sometimes questioning what leads you to self harm can help you to find ways of overcoming that urge; if that's what you want to do.
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Re: Cutting when happy? - January 5th 2011, 01:24 PM

At my worst point, I think I was cutting just to cut. I was so used to feeling hurt and anger and sadness, that I wasn't comfortable being happy or okay. I didn't feel like I had a right to feel okay. The times I felt okay were the times I cut most, because I felt like I needed to bring my mood down and it sort of.. grounded me, I guess you could say.

Anyway, the point is that SH is an addiction. You're used to hurting yourself, either as a coping method or distraction method, or for whatever reason you SH. Like Ellie said, keep questioning yourself.. maybe there's a reason why urges come when you feel happy, something that triggers you or an overwhelming feeling - anything. If you can figure out the problem or the trigger, figuring out a solution will be easier.

Best of luck and take care.

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Re: Cutting when happy? - January 5th 2011, 07:05 PM

I'm guilty of it too =/
Cutting is really an addiction, so I guess it just gets to the point where you want it for no apparent reason. Like, most alcoholics start off my just drinking when they're depressed, but then they start to want it all the time, and that's when it turns into a all the time addiction.
I've been in the greatest of moods ever and wanted to cut before..

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Re: Cutting when happy? - January 7th 2011, 05:53 PM

its because your addicted to cutting..ik th feeling..i've been thre..still there..and i just talk when i need it..i'm here for you if yu if yu need nething



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Re: Cutting when happy? - January 8th 2011, 07:58 AM

When I used to cut it was always like that... Like if I was bored or just saw my tools I would cut... I don't know but maybe it's like just how u learned to cope with being sad, it turned into becoming something to use in all emotions and basically if ur like so used to it abs it is calm... Well u wanna be calm all the time whether ur sad or not... So u just cut....
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Re: Cutting when happy? - January 14th 2011, 05:55 PM

i do that too..i don't get it. i wish i could stop, but i can't. /:
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