Attention Cutting Vs. Being Open

[Fineshrine]

Well, I've changed my point of view now that I've seen others points of views. Self harming for attention needs the exact same help as people who do it for other reasons, because the self harm for attention means that they're not getting enough attention at home or wherever. I pretty much agree with Myss on everything now that she's showed me how totally wrong I was =]

[CherriesBlossom]

Even the people who lie about this issue still have something wrong with them. They would have to have a deep root issue in another area of their lives to make them feel the need to even come to such a drastic conclusion and/or lie. People don't just wake up and say I'm going to go out and tell people I cut when I don't. And even if they did, they still have a mental problem. So in all honesty I would say don't be so judgmental because everyone has a story and no one know 100% of another persons life.

I have encountered that situation when I was a cutter. A friend blatantly lied about self harming and it later came out she didn't. Of course I was mad, because she had the audacity to take a serious issue to many people and lie about it. Later on I realized I wasn't mad because she lied, I was mad because he didn't know what if felt like to have the pain and seek for relief like many self harmers do. Maybe that is why your mad or maybe not. But just because she didn't understand exactly the pain or what I was going through in order to have no options left turn to cutting doesn't mean she didn't have issues of her own.

[Maloo]

Originally Posted by FallenStar

Well, I've changed my point of view now that I've seen others points of views. Self harming for attention needs the exact same help as people who do it for other reasons, because the self harm for attention means that they're not getting enough attention at home or wherever. I pretty much agree with Myss on everything now that she's showed me how totally wrong I was =]

I'm glad that you realized that you were looking at the situation in the wrong way.

Unfortunately there's still very many closed-minded and judgmental people out in the world.

[Fineshrine]

Originally Posted by Monster.

Even the people who lie about this issue still have something wrong with them. They would have to have a deep root issue in another area of their lives to make them feel the need to even come to such a drastic conclusion and/or lie. People don't just wake up and say I'm going to go out and tell people I cut when I don't. And even if they did, they still have a mental problem. So in all honesty I would say don't be so judgmental because everyone has a story and no one know 100% of another persons life.

I have encountered that situation when I was a cutter. A friend blatantly lied about self harming and it later came out she didn't. Of course I was mad, because she had the audacity to take a serious issue to many people and lie about it. Later on I realized I wasn't mad because she lied, I was mad because he didn't know what if felt like to have the pain and seek for relief like many self harmers do. Maybe that is why your mad or maybe not. But just because she didn't understand exactly the pain or what I was going through in order to have no options left turn to cutting doesn't mean she didn't have issues of her own.

^^ Opinion just changed. Again. Everyone here is such a freaking eye opener, I'm seeing things in ways I would have never seen them before this place.

[CherriesBlossom]

I'm really glad you have. (:

[TheCrowing]

Sorry Myss... But like you, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Sure it disgusts you, but have you ran into people who do it for attention? Or do it to make friends?
Have you had friends constantly making jokes about "emo" kids and telling them to go cut their wrists, not knowing that you struggle yourself? If you have, then you know how it can be offensive and how it makes it so much harder to find help when you need it.

Although I agree with you when you have said that there is a good reason why they do it... you also have to realize that SOME, I repeat SOME, of the over the top "hxc emo" tagging sh-ers make it more difficult for those that do it to cope. I don't mean any offence to you, but you want people to see how you see it, but I feel as if you haven't been looking from everyone else's angle. Sure we're all here to share opinions and the such, but you should also respect other's.

[Trainspotter1915]

I used to cut. Because I was just depressed and couldn't take it. I only told one person when i was, but after the scars healed I was more open about it and told more people, just to confide in them. And I did know a girl that would just chop her wrists till they were black-red, and just flash them to everybody. Most people seem to think that if you cut, then you just want attention -.-

[Double X]

Originally Posted by Myss

what you have to understand though is that there's a reason they're doing this. There's something in their life that's making them feel like they have to act like that.

Originally Posted by Myss

I think you guys are being really judgmental about people that you don't know well enough. You don't know what they're going through, but you're going to sit here and call them ''annoying'' and things like that anyway.

Pretty much this.

If someone is crying out for attention that doesn't make them a bad person! It means they feel so unwanted and neglected they are willing to do something so destructive just to get attention. If anything, I feel bad for them. They should see a therapist

[Maloo]

Originally Posted by TheCrowing

Sorry Myss... But like you, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Sure it disgusts you, but have you ran into people who do it for attention? Or do it to make friends?
Have you had friends constantly making jokes about "emo" kids and telling them to go cut their wrists, not knowing that you struggle yourself? If you have, then you know how it can be offensive and how it makes it so much harder to find help when you need it.

Yes, I have had that happen. I cut for 5 years before I quit, and I still struggle with urges. And people made comments like that all the time in high school, while I was still cutting. And there's a girl that I used to do horse shows with who has pictures up on facebook of cuts. But you know what? I don't call her annoying or an attention-seeker. I feel really bad for her.

[I'mAlive]

I agree that it can seem really annoying when people do things like this, almost bragging about it, especially because it tends to make other people stereotype everyone who cuts, whether they do it for attention or not. But even though they may be doing it for attention and it seems as though they're broadcasting it to the entire world, it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't have a problem. They may be lacking that attention somewhere else in their life, and it really just is a cry for help, in sort of a twisted way. And unfortunately the way they're searching for this actually much-needed attention may rub off the wrong way on people.

[Jenna Peterson]

Wow, lots of different opinions in this thread. Mostly, I find myself agreeing with both sides of the debate for different reasons. Alternatively, I'll say this:
Those who are harming for attention, rather than coping, are perpetuating the negative stigma attached to self harm in general, and that sucks for those who cut to cope and simply aren't extremely secretive about it. I'm not saying anyone is more or less in need of help and understanding, or more or less hurt and suffering, but I can agree with the sentiment that those who "brag" about their cutting make it harder for the rest of us to talk about cutting honestly without being suspected of attention seeking.

[x_sepi_x]

I think it's outragous. It creates an even worse stereotype for people who genuinely do self-harm. People who self-harm do it for their own personal reasons, mainly as a way of dealing with problems etc not to get attention. so the people who do it for attention are just taking advantage over vulnerable people..
Personally i don't know of anyone who does this but if i did i sure wouldn't stand for it.

[Fineshrine]

Originally Posted by x_sepi_x

I think it's outragous. It creates an even worse stereotype for people who genuinely do self-harm. People who self-harm do it for their own personal reasons, mainly as a way of dealing with problems etc not to get attention. so the people who do it for attention are just taking advantage over vulnerable people..
Personally i don't know of anyone who does this but if i did i sure wouldn't stand for it.

If they think that they need to SH to get attention though.. That is a problem. It means they aren't getting enough attention at home or such.

[Nightblood.]

I highly doubt anyone that does it for attention does it more than once or twice for the attention.
I don't really know why I did it the first time. But yeah, it could be considered for attention. But guess what? Nothing ever seems to be a big deal until something like this starts happening. I've been trying to stop, but other things have been going on. But it's like all my friends think because I'm not doing it right now means everything is fine. Last time I checked, eating issues weren't so fine.

I'm sure plenty of people think you're "annoying" for doing it because it makes you feel better. Self harm is self harm. And lying about it is just as bad. Compulsive lying is actually a huge deal. There is something wrong with compulsive liars.

[Aestai]

i think its absoluty horrible that people cut to fit it, its one thing to open about it, but another to go around like "look at me i cut! YAY IMMA EMO!!! " they give emos a bad name

[LlamaLlamaDuck]

Although self harm/cutting is an emotional outlet for a lot of people, and some people do it for the attention as a cry for help, there are still the minority of people that do it, not because they're attention deprived but just because they like to show it off and be the center of attention.
I used to be friends with a girl who was always in the middle. She had lots of friends, a fairly good family life, she shared everything with me. But she often made things up, just for fun. Like inventing boyfriends and such. And she started cutting.
She took photos of it on her phone and left it lying around, pretending not to realise. I kept getting messages from her saying 'Stopping cutting is easier said than done' and when I saw her and asked if she was okay she would show me and talk about the bleeding and such, but never a reason behind it.
No matter how much I tried to support her with it, it didn't make a difference at all. There was never a reason why she would do it. Then when she cut pretty badly and left her sleeves up at school all day, student support called her mum and she was sent to a psychiatrist but refused to go. But she stopped. She literally just stopped cutting and never mentioned it again. Said she'd come to me if she ever wanted to and it never happened.
Long story short: She cut and could never say why, despite always sharing everything with me, she made up a lot of stories, she broadcasted her cuts and then just stopped without any argument, any signs of struggling, nothing.
This from the person that knew her inside out for over 2 years.
Yes, some people do show it off as a cry for help, but there are others, like my 'friend', who literally just did it because she wanted another reason for people to love her and feel sorry for her.

[Liz94]

I agree that there is a difference about being open about it and being attention seeking.
Like alot of you I used to be friends with a girl that exaggerated her SH and sometimes faked doing it by wearing a bandage one day and then nothing being there the next day with the bandage off.

When it first came out about my SH 2 1/2 years ago I became open about it addmitting I had done it to friends and people saw in PE but I never went around going look what I've done look look I only went as far as addmitting that I had and sometimes why...That was me being open not attention seeking, but I did get accused of attention seeking...

These acccusations meant that the following year and this year I have been much more serative...In my most resent relapses I only told 2 people....My other friends didn't find out until school started getting involved again and that was a long time after my relapse.... alll because I didnt want to accused of being attention seeking and ignored as a consequence...

I think that this was unhealthy for me and to some extent my friends all because of the attention seeking stereotype...
I hope that one day people being attention seeking will realise how they are making things worse for every single Self harmer....

Though I do think that people doing it for attention seeking reasons are doing it for a reason and need help as much as the rest of us...

[Epoh]

I feel like the main problem is, those who cut for a coping mechanism and keep it a secret, feel offended by people who do it for "attention". It's selfish in my opinion to judge someone because they are not dealing with something the same way as you are. You don't have to like the way someone goes about dealing with things, or like them, but to be mean about it is wrong.

Honestly, no, I do not like people who flaunt their SH. It hurts me because I SH and seeing them flaunt it makes me feel like my SH doesn't mean anything. Like it's not a big deal. When it is. BUT, I'm not going to talk about them and say they are annoying or anything, I know that they are dealing with something, no matter what it may be and they chose to display their pain as such.

When someone cuts there is ALWAYS a reason. Whether it be so someone will see it the next day and say something, so people will always tell them to stop and tell them they care about them, so they can feel better, so they can feel in control, so they can stop crying...the list goes on. SH is never good, never justified.
Just think of it this way: You have two people. They both murder a person. One murders because that person killed their sibling. The other murders because they just felt like it.
No matter what, it is STILL MURDER. There is no justification.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I know the difference between someone who SH in secret, SH & flaunts it, and SH but doesn't flaunt or do all they can to hide it. So just to clarify, I don't think the last two are one and the same, when in fact they hold nearly the same concept. (Not hiding.)