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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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How do I keep myself from cutting again? - July 26th 2011, 01:47 AM

Its been almost 2 years since I've done any cutting and I'm proud of myself for it and don't want to ruin it, but lately I've been trying to deal with things that I've put off dealing with. The first thing is getting over my ex fiance. The break up was kinda sudden. One day he was telling me he loved me and the next it was over. I emailed him almost a week ago and he read it today, but didn't answer. I emailed him again a little bit ago explaining why I needed to talk to him. A week ago when I started trying to get over him I've been wanting to cut again so bad. No matter what I do I just can't stop thinking about it. How do I keep myself from ruining this past almost 2 years?
   
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Re: How do I keep myself from cutting again? - July 26th 2011, 08:14 PM

Hey, well the first thing I want to say is well done on reaching 2 years, that's an amazing achievement. I'm sorry you had to go through such a terrible break up, it's a horrible thing to have to go through I know it sounds cliche but how about going out with your friends, spending time doing things that you couldn't do when you were with him? Maybe it'll try and distract you for long enough. If there are certain times of the day that are worse for you, I'd say definitely plan something for those times, even if it's something as simple as a planned phone call to a mate or something.
I know it's hard but you have to stop all contact with your ex. That's the only way you're going to get over him. I bet you're thinking, wtf, all you want to do is find out why. But will that really help anything? Surely rejection one is bad enough but for him to keep ignoring your emails, wouldn't you rather just try and forget about him?
Have you checked out the alternatives thread? Personally I've never really got on with it but everyone's different and you may find a few things on there that help you. Also, tell yourself that you've gone two years, what's another day without doing it? And then tell yourself the same thing the next day. Or if a day is too long, how about saying well what's another few hours if it's been this long already and take things one step at a time.
Break ups are hard enough as it is hun without putting yourself through even more pain. You CAN do this and we'll be there every step of the way with you
   
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Re: How do I keep myself from cutting again? - July 26th 2011, 08:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tamz View Post
Hey, well the first thing I want to say is well done on reaching 2 years, that's an amazing achievement. I'm sorry you had to go through such a terrible break up, it's a horrible thing to have to go through I know it sounds cliche but how about going out with your friends, spending time doing things that you couldn't do when you were with him? Maybe it'll try and distract you for long enough. If there are certain times of the day that are worse for you, I'd say definitely plan something for those times, even if it's something as simple as a planned phone call to a mate or something.
I know it's hard but you have to stop all contact with your ex. That's the only way you're going to get over him. I bet you're thinking, wtf, all you want to do is find out why. But will that really help anything? Surely rejection one is bad enough but for him to keep ignoring your emails, wouldn't you rather just try and forget about him?
Have you checked out the alternatives thread? Personally I've never really got on with it but everyone's different and you may find a few things on there that help you. Also, tell yourself that you've gone two years, what's another day without doing it? And then tell yourself the same thing the next day. Or if a day is too long, how about saying well what's another few hours if it's been this long already and take things one step at a time.
Break ups are hard enough as it is hun without putting yourself through even more pain. You CAN do this and we'll be there every step of the way with you
I don't have any friends anymore because I was with my ex. I've tried to just forget about him for over a year now and that didn't work. I've got a lot more than just the break up to deal with. I've got 14 years worth of things to deal with. The alternatives thread didn't help much.
   
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Re: How do I keep myself from cutting again? - July 26th 2011, 09:41 PM

hey. I know the feeling of not having any friends due to an ex. How about trying to get in touch with some of your old friends though? Well, on the plus side, if you've been without him for a year and haven't self harmed in that time, that's really good in fact, that's absolutely brilliant

I've just read through some of your older posters to see what you're going through, hope you don't think I'm stalking you! You really have had a lot to deal with and it's no wonder you want to hurt yourself. But what's happened in the past, you know it's not your fault right? If anything, other people deserve to be hurting, most certainly not you! Have you tried talking to a counsellor or anyone about what's happened? I don't think it's something you can deal with on you're on tbh and it's okay to ask for help.
Trying to think of how I keep myself distracted with urges, I guess I just threw out all of my stuff and just kept telling myself I've been this long, another 5mins waiting isn't going to make much difference. Hopefully someone else can think of more ways that you can help yourself. I think the key is in what you said though; "How do I keep myself from ruining this past almost 2 years?" Remind yourself how disappointed you'd feel if you did harm yourself. Is the 10seconds of relief really worth it after all that hard work you've put yourself through the past 2 years?
   
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