Triggering (Abuse): Speech (triggering rape, sexual assault and abuse)

[Viper1996]

How can I explain it? How can I explain what its like to be stripped of your dignity and safety? How can I explain how my world was turned upside down? Do you know what makes it worse? I got told by many people that rape victims ask for it, but the night that it happened, I was walking home from a friends house at 7:30 pm, I wore a pair of black skinny jeans, a batman t-shirt, my hi tops and a plain black pull over hoodie tied around my waist and I still get told that I asked for it. So what can I wear what doesn’t make me vulnerable for rapists? I told the police, I gave them a two hour interview, I gave them my clothes and I had a medical examination and they ‘searched’ for the guy, but after nine days they told me they were shutting the case because apparently it wasn’t ‘top priority’. If young girls being raped isn’t top priority, then what is? I was told that what I wore was the cause, that if I dressed differently I wouldn’t of been raped. I was then told that I looked different, that I was asking for it, because I can’t let go of the abuse that my Dad done to me and that they can spot someone who is weak. Does that still make it okay? Because I dressed differently and I look weak, does that make it okay for someone to rape me? Because that’s what society are teaching people, that the victims and survivors of rape are the people who cause the sexual assault, that the way we dress, the way we look, even the colour of our skin can cause us to provoke rapists. Does that mean that it’s the victims fault, that its okay for someone to rape, because the victims asked for it…Well Does?


I wrote this when I was angry because I was told that I was the 'type' of person to get abused, raped ect. Tell me what you think.

[Jocasta]

NONONONONONONO, It is NOT your fault hon. What you are describing is victim shaming. People who dont understand rape or are just ignorant thank that the victim caused it. But you have to know it is not your fault. Wouldnt it make more sense to blame the party that did the deed? You have nothing to be ashamed of at all. I know where youre coming from with this, but you gotta believe: nothing you did invited that to happen.

[Viper1996]

Yeah but everywhere you have people teaching kids how not to get raped, they aren't teaching the assholes out there not to rape, they are saying 'this is how you makesure you do not get raped' and police don't put enough time into searching for rapists, instead they brush it off saying that a women or man dresses in a way or looks a way and that provokes rape. So in a way they are saying its my fault.

[Ennui.]

I'm really sorry that this happened. You're so right that the police don't put enough effort into it though. There's no such thing as "asking for it."

[Viper1996]

Yeah but society makes it seems that way, that women and men 'ask' to be raped, by their clothes, their skin, the way they look, any tiny little thing and society will say ''well you asked to be raped because...''

Hey there,

I am sorry that all of this happened. You didn't do anything to deserve this and the police shouldn't have told you these things. You are a very brave individual. Please don't ever doubt that.

Hi there, I'm so sorry this happened to you. There's no such thing as "asking for it". It's not your fault, at all. You're a really strong person.