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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Leo Offline
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Is this rape? - August 13th 2009, 08:42 AM

ok my gf's younger cousin recently broke up with her boyfriend and has been depressed for some time. She is basically like a little sister to me so Ive been trying to help her get over it. The other night she told me she was gonna hang out with an old ex boyfriend and she seemed excited so I encouged it. She later came back on the computer and told me that he had kept pressuring her to have sex and climbing on top of her until she finally gave in. My first reaction was to drive there and beat the shit out of him. unfortunatly I was out of gas and money. Anyways I want to know if this would be considered rape.
   
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Re: Is this rape? - August 13th 2009, 09:48 AM

Under the technical eyes of the law, if she 'gave in', 'gave her consent' then it's not rape.
For the person involved, mentally... Then quite possibly, if she felt there was no other way she could avoid the situation then I would consider it abuse at the least.
   
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Re: Is this rape? - August 13th 2009, 10:47 AM

Maybe in the eyes of the law this is not rape. But I would certainly class it as that - acqaintance rape. Because she was pressured into it. She didn't want it. She gave her consent, but UNWILLINGLY.... so in the eyes of the law it's not rape, but abuse at least. But I see that as rape. Sorry if I rambled and wasn't actually much help.
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Re: Is this rape? - August 13th 2009, 11:25 AM

lol no ur fine. In my mind it was rape and I swear to god if I ever meet that kid I will beat him so hard the cops will find mush. :@
   
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Re: Is this rape? - August 13th 2009, 12:42 PM

Violence will just make the situation worse.
It pro-longs it all.

I am sure all she wants to do right now is move on and forget about the experience. Not having it all dragged up with conflicts between you and this guy.
   
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Re: Is this rape? - August 13th 2009, 03:24 PM

I would classify it as rape. As already said, she didn't give the guy her consent willingly, which technically means she really didn't give her consent.
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Re: Is this rape? - August 13th 2009, 05:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wobbrocker View Post
lol no ur fine. In my mind it was rape and I swear to god if I ever meet that kid I will beat him so hard the cops will find mush. :@

I know it's easy to get angry, especially since you obviously care for this person a great deal. But what needs to be done is her choice. I fully believe that she will be able to determine what can and can't help her situation. The means by which you would like to go about this is probably much different from her own. At this stage, I think it's best to be there as support for her. Let her know you're here to talk to and she can find comfort with you. However, I agree with Chazzz. Taking care of this yourself can only make it hurt more for the victim. And she's what's most important right now. The fact that she can cope and overcome this, not beating up the boy who did this.


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Re: Is this rape? - August 13th 2009, 05:50 PM

this is definitly rape and you should contact the police immidiently.
   
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Re: Is this rape? - August 14th 2009, 05:03 AM

Hey,

I think Chazz is right about it not being rape in the eyes of the law and she is also right about violence not being the answer. I know that that is your first instinct but the best thing to do is to be there for her if she needs someone to talk to. Let her know that she is not at fault for anything that happened and that you still love her.

Best of luck.

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