TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Anonymous1 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Anonymous1's Avatar
 

Posts: 1
Join Date: September 23rd 2009

Need help getting over childhood rape - September 23rd 2009, 12:26 PM

I don't know where to start, so let me introduce myself first. I'm 15 years old (bordering 16) and I've been in a stable long distance relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year.

Not two days ago I was talking to her about her past when she decided to confess to me she was raped as a child (8-9 years old), and she's changed ever since. She's 16 now and doesn't think about it anymore, and she tells me she doesn't let it affect her but I'm scared and worried. Now that we decided to talk about it it's hurting us both remembering what happened in her childhood (she got raped, her mother beat and screamed at her, her father divorced and left her, she got bullied at school and had to leave and get homeschooling, she got into substance abuse at an early age but stopped again, the list goes on).

I'm finding it extremely hard to be a supportive boyfriend, because we don't know what to do. She hasn't told anybody else, not even her parents, which is worrying to me because I don't want her bottling up her emotions, but I don't want to force her to telling anyone if she doesn't feel comfortable with it. I wish we could get professional help but she's scared about it. I really don't know where else to turn, the past few days have been really hard on us both.

We're hoping internet resources such as teenhelp.org will help us both get over it and live a normal life again, so that she's no longer tormented by her past. Ever since, she's been overweight, alone, shy, keeping to herself and spends all of her time on the internet.

I'm also worried about how talking about it is making her feel. She feels guilty for telling me (because it's been hurting me a lot too, knowing what she went through), even though I've assured her it's not her fault and it was the right thing to do (telling me), and she's afraid it will affect our relationship.

I just don't know what to do anymore, I don't know where else to turn, I don't know how to get over it, I don't know where to get help.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SimplyComplex Offline
SimplyComplex :)
I've been here a while
********
 
SimplyComplex's Avatar
 
Name: Melissa
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Canadaland

Posts: 1,316
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Need help getting over childhood rape - September 23rd 2009, 11:30 PM

Hey,

Welcome to Teen Help and I'm glad you're coming here to at least give us a chance to give you support. Any form of abuse is difficult, not only for the main person affected but the people that love them as well, as I'm sure you're discovering for yourself.

However, I must stress that Teen Help and anything else you can find on the internet is not a replacement for anything professional help can do. I am completely agreeing with giving support to those who need it, and a place to talk about anything. But, you also need to be able to realize when something is merely too big for someone without a professional background. I know how scary it is to confess something like this to anyone. Especially things with this magnitude. I wouldn't suggest forcing her to talk with someone, but explain that she doesn't need to tell her parents why she wants to speak to a professional. She can simply mention she'd like to and that her reasons as to why are something personal. When she goes to see the professional, she can start off slow. She doesn't need to tell more than she's willing to. And she needs to know that the road to healing is a rough one. It's full of hard times and things we can't quite comprehend all at once, but it's possible to get through all of this. It's possible to cope as long as she's willing to do some things that are a little more difficult.

Bring up the idea where you can and not too often that it seems you don't want to listen. As for you, I suggest you vent these emotions your feeling in a healthy way because it's very difficult for you too. Possibly a journal or you might want to consider a professional yourself. Most of all, let her know she's cared for and if all you can do is listen, than that's better than nothing at all. Sometimes she doesn't need advice, she simply needs to know someone else is in this with her. And she isn't alone and neither are you. Remember to take this slow and try not to rule out a professional for either of you yet. Mention the idea of a journal for her as well, as she has many things coming back that she might want to sort out. This was things don't get jumbled together and she can sort through her thoughts and feelings.

Both of you are strong people and you can get through this. Don't forget that and doubt your strengths. Keep pushing and you two can do anything. Stay strong. We're all here for you.

Have hope,
-Melissa


01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Beautiful_mind Offline
counsellor @ positive mind
Average Joe
***
 
Beautiful_mind's Avatar
 
Name: chantel
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: australia

Posts: 166
Join Date: July 16th 2009

Re: Need help getting over childhood rape - September 24th 2009, 04:49 AM

Hey i think she is very lucky to have you as her boyfriend. its always hard to face being abused. keep trying to get her to open up to you, i think that once she confronts it and tells her parents or a trusted adult things may look up for you both
  Send a message via MSN to Beautiful_mind Send a message via Yahoo to Beautiful_mind  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
childhood, rape

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.