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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
nehneh Offline
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Exclamation Raped and pregnant - November 27th 2009, 10:53 PM

so i found out today that i was pregnant cuz my bf raped me. He said he did it so we could stay togather forever since i was about to break up with him because he's abusive and i have soo many scara from it. but now, I cant tell my parents because they'd be soo disapointed but i cant afford an abortion. I wanna die or atleast kill the baby with a knife. Help!
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - November 28th 2009, 12:20 AM

You know the baby even though wasn't planned by you. It is apart of you. Being pregnant doesn't determine the rest of your life. You have choices. Like for one you don't have to stay with him. He should be put away for what he did. Lifes happening and we all have hard decisions to make but you need to make those choices with your parents. Me personally don't think you should have an abortion but I'm not ur parent or u. It's life and can change ur look on life... Maybe in a good way I don't know how it couldn't.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - November 28th 2009, 01:42 AM

Hey Neha,
I can understand you're in a difficult situation.
A baby especially an unwanted one is difficult enough, let alone one that was concieved through rape.
What your boyfriend did was not right, I know this may seem hard but I'm sure your parents would understand if they knew the full story and would be able to help you support wise and financially whichever the decision you make.
Your family are always going to love you no matter what and this isn't going to change a thing.
I'm always here, no matter what.
PM me anytime, Paige xox
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - November 28th 2009, 03:00 PM

Hi, I am sorry your boyfriend violated your purity in such a terrible manner. I would recommend you contact your local adoption agency. I don't expect you to bring up a baby in these circumstances but abortion is the deliberate killing of human life which is not something we can justify with any decent moral compass.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - November 28th 2009, 04:06 PM

hey hun
ive been in ur situation u have to think about wheater u could cope with a baby
and if u feel that u want a baby with him after wat he did.
i totaly understand if u want an abotion
but there are other options if u cant afford it
like adoption give the baby to some1 who really wants a child

hope this help in some way

if u wanna talk or ask anythin pls pm me
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - December 7th 2009, 03:52 PM

Tell your parents. I know you think they may feel disappointed but they'll just be concerned that you were raped and most likely wont blame you at all. Not only will they be able to provide emotional support they may also support you if you want to go to the police about this. I can't stress this last point enough, tell your parents! After all, they'll find out at some point and will then be disappointed that you didn't trust them enough to confide in them.

Make sure you at least attempt to get your ex-boyfriend prosecuted for this. Not only will it provide closure it will also protect any girls he may come accross in the future. The longer you leave it the less chance you will have of a successful prosecution.

On the topic of abortion, if you tell your parents they may be willing to provide the money for it. If not then can you contact your doctor confidentially and talk about your options? Don't listen to the people telling you not to get one and that it is morally wrong. Abortion is morally ambiguous at worst and in your case I personally feel it's morally justified, in your shoes I know I'd want to get one too. If you think it is the best course of action then that's your decision and I think you should do what you think is best. It's your body so don't let anyone else tell you what to do with it. Just think it through and make sure that what you're doing is not something you will regret, other than that don't let other people guilt trip you into making the wrong decision.
However I must urge you not to consider any "back-alley" abortion type situations, these are incredibly dangerous and could result in your death or permanent harm.

Edit: Woops, didn't see that this was an old thread that'd been bumped up.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - December 7th 2009, 04:20 PM

[Edited by bringontherain - Reason:inappropriate] I suggest you tell your parents the whole story as soon as possible. They'll be able to help you.


Previously Mommy.Wife.Student

Last edited by Emily.; December 7th 2009 at 08:01 PM. Reason: Inappropriate/dangerous advice
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - December 7th 2009, 04:23 PM

i know there are a lot of anti-abortion/pro-life people here telling you not to have an abortion.. but you need to consider all your options. before you tell your parents i think you should get the pregnancy confirmed by a doctor.. and they will be able to talk you through your options. i would definitely consider reporting your boyfriend to the police. he shouldn't get a way with it. him being your boyfriend makes no difference, he still raped you. i'm sorry you're going through this. :[


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - December 7th 2009, 04:37 PM

I don't care if people will hate me for saying this but ignore what people are saying about abortion being immoral, it's your decision, nobody else's. I also think you should report him to the police. Best of luck <3333 -hugs-


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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - December 7th 2009, 05:13 PM

Considering all the options would be the best way to go.
Even though I'm not really for abortion.
But think about it because once you do, it's something you will never be able to take back.
Don't listen to what OTHERS tell you to do, make this decision yourself.
I know its difficult. Hang in there dear.
You may want to tell your family.
I'm sure they love you and want the best FOR you.




   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - December 7th 2009, 08:35 PM

Hey Neha,

I know right now it's really hard, but you can get through this. Do not do anything that will hurt yourself, or the baby. If you try to hurt the baby, there is a very good chance that it could kill you.

You need to tell your parents. It was not your fault, and they will understand. They won't blame you for getting raped, you need to to tell them. Let them know that you are pregnant and they can help you. You do not have to go through this alone. You could also go to planned parenthood, they can help you decide what you want to do.

Just hang in there Neha.


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"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


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  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Raped and pregnant - December 7th 2009, 08:46 PM

Go to the cops and have him arrested. This dude should be in jail for what he has done to you.


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  (#13 (permalink)) Old
Arroyo Offline
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Re: Raped and pregnant - December 12th 2009, 06:23 PM

First and foremost: tell your parents. Rape is never the victims fault, and they will understand that. You should probably press charges, or at least get a restraining order. And it goes without saying that if you haven't dumped him yet, do so immediately.

Second, I'm personally against abortion, but I have no right to tell you what to do. So I'll let you know that they are available free from several health clinics. Just pleasethink hard about it before you go through with it, and if you do decide to, do it sooner rather than later.


Don't go through life.
Grow through life.
   
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