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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Rape attempt what to do??? - May 26th 2010, 08:02 AM

My girlfriend told me a few weeks ago that someone 1 or 2 years ago attempted to rape her. I really want to help her but she tells me that he just attempted to do things and the worst he did was kiss her so there wouldn't be any evidence.

I know that she has told her parents about this and since she didn't want to take this to court because she is scared of the guy her parents understood and said ok, firstly I find that horrible because her parents should of told her to do something I mean if I had a child of even a close friend I would kick their ass until they would do something about what had happened.

She has only told me a few details, I am not really sure if its even true that he attempted to rape her and didn't do the act. My girlfriend was drunk when this happened and she didn't see things too clearly she told me that when he was about to penetrate her she said stop or i will take this to court and appearantly he stopped but she still has a hard time talking about it and everything so I dunno.

I don't want to annoy or bug her with this a lot because I know she doesn't like to think nor talk about it but I want to help her because I love her and I want to understand her (and eventually put that bastard in jail) normally some people don't even know what the man is called when they get raped but she knows all his details since it was an "older friend".

Thanks for taking the time to read me =D
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Re: Rape attempt what to do??? - May 26th 2010, 05:43 PM

Hi there.
I can kind of empathize with your girlfriend. When I was raped I told people that it was an attempt. It wasn't but I just couldn't admit it to myself or anyone else. Its possible that she is the same way.
As for putting him in jail... it will be something really hard to prove at this point as all biological evidence is long gone, and its something your girlfriend would need to be comfortable taking to the police. I'll help you in any way I can but I think the best thing to do is be a friend to her and let her tell you what really happened when she is ready.
Good Luck,
Katie
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Re: Rape attempt what to do??? - May 26th 2010, 11:32 PM

Hey there.

I'm glad you are wanting to be there and support your girlfriend. It seems like you really care about her. I think the best thing you can do for her is to not push her into prosecuting, though. It needs to be something she does for herself - not for you or because anyone else wants her too. Maybe someday she will change her mind, but for now you should respect her wishes. What was said above is also a good point; there is little to know physical evidence of what happened so it would be a hard case to win or even get taken to court.

Be there for her when she wants or needs to talk about things and let her know you will listen. Sometimes that's all we need. You might also encourage her to talk with a counselor about things. We need a professional to help us sort through and figure things out sometimes.

I hope you are doing alright. You can PM me if you ever want to talk.
<3 Emily


"Sometimes it's a struggle to be not who you want to be, not who you used to be, not who you're going to be,
but just being right where you are, who you are"

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