Non-PG13: Was it rape?

[grae96]

Well, one night a guy brought me home from a show cause I didn't have a ride or whatever, and when we got to my house we started talk and sitting on my couch just chilling, I was just teasing him by tracing up and down his leg, we didn't do anything but he kissed me that night. Well the next night he brought me home, my mom was high again, and we were just relaxing on my bed, talking and watching TV, then he unzipped his pants and made me give him a bj. And then he held me down by my shoulders and eased into me, I said we need to stop, he kept on thrusting farther and harder, I said if we are going to do this then at least put a condom on, he did and he just kept going on harder and faster, until he finally finished, He cleaned up the blood from my vagina. And then left. So was it rape or just regular sex??

[Btw sorry its so long]

[Katie Lydia]

If you said stop and he didn't, it was rape. If you consented then it wasn't. When you said he made you give him a blowjob, did he literally force it into you or did you WILLINGLY perform it? If he forced it onto you then that's wrong and it's rape and you need to tell someone, a friend, relative, teacher or police.

PM me if you need any help. xx

[Le bonheur*]

I'm sorry this happened. Rape is any unwanted sexual contact with another person. If it was unwanted (you said "we should stop"..) yes it was rape. That's your call to decide what you want to call it as it's all about how you feel about it. Which you don't mention in this post. How are you feeling? Are you okay? Feel free to PM me anytime<3

[Guile]

Originally Posted by grae96

Well, one night a guy brought me home from a show cause I didn't have a ride or whatever, and when we got to my house we started talk and sitting on my couch just chilling, I was just teasing him by tracing up and down his leg, we didn't do anything but he kissed me that night. Well the next night he brought me home, my mom was high again, and we were just relaxing on my bed, talking and watching TV, then he unzipped his pants and made me give him a bj. And then he held me down by my shoulders and eased into me, I said we need to stop, he kept on thrusting farther and harder, I said if we are going to do this then at least put a condom on, he did and he just kept going on harder and faster, until he finally finished, He cleaned up the blood from my vagina. And then left. So was it rape or just regular sex??

[Btw sorry its so long]

Nope! Legally speaking, asking him to wear a condom is considered implied consent, and therefore, it was not rape.

[Revolution]

Originally Posted by Guile

Nope! Legally speaking, asking him to wear a condom is considered implied consent, and therefore, it was not rape.

Itt doesn't matter when you say stop. If you're having sex with somebody, and you're halfway through, and you say stop, it is rape.
It could also be said that this was coercion, another form of rape.
Whatever the case, you did not like what he did, you had the right to say no, he had no right to keep going.
Have you ever spoken to a counselor?

[grae96]

Originally Posted by believe.in.hope

How are you feeling? Are you okay?

Im scared now. and Im never ok. and my therapist knows.

[Le bonheur*]

Originally Posted by grae96

Im scared now. and Im never ok. and my therapist knows.

I'm so sorry. Maybe your therapist can help you talk things through and sort out your feelings to make you feel a bit better<3

[grae96]

Thank you. Its just hard right now.

[Le bonheur*]

I understand. Take care.

[grae96]

You too <3

[Invert]

This was rape, even if you willingly gave the blow job. You didn't willing have sex with him, and he knew this. It is morally rape, and legally rape. Although I'll admit, you won't be able to get this guy sent to prison, because the courts suck on this issue.

But it's not your fault. This scum is a scum bag. And you need to talk to your therapist about it.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

Originally Posted by Guile

Nope! Legally speaking, asking him to wear a condom is considered implied consent, and therefore, it was not rape.

She said no first, but he ignored her and kept going, so if she then eventually asked him to wear a condom, its not implied consent, because he was doing it before that anyway.

[FlyingTrue]

Originally Posted by Invert

This was rape, even if you willingly gave the blow job. You didn't willing have sex with him, and he knew this. It is morally rape, and legally rape. Although I'll admit, you won't be able to get this guy sent to prison, because the courts suck on this issue.

There is no reason I can conceive of that the courts would fail here, it's statutory rape too and therefore the charges will be magnified significantly. I highly recommend reporting this to the police because this guy had no right to do what he did.

[grae96]

Its to late to press charges. It happened last February. Btw he is 18.. but it is my fault he did it...

[Katie Lydia]

Originally Posted by grae96

Its to late to press charges. It happened last February. Btw he is 18.. but it is my fault he did it...

It's not your fault at all, even if you willingly had sex with him and changed your mind in the middle of it, if he didn't stop it still wouldn't be your fault!

Even if the police don't press charges they atleast KNOW about him, what if he has done this to someone else or is going to? The more evidence against him, the better. Also the police contact social services if your under 18 and put you in touch with counselling, that may sound very scary and horrible but look at alot of peoples stories and it may be a week or a year before they realise that it's helped them. xxx

[FlyingTrue]

In the United States there is no statutory limit to report criminal actions of this nature. And what happened was definitely not your fault, he had no right to do what he did to you, period.

[Guile]

Originally Posted by Invert

This was rape, even if you willingly gave the blow job. You didn't willing have sex with him, and he knew this. It is morally rape, and legally rape. Although I'll admit, you won't be able to get this guy sent to prison, because the courts suck on this issue.

But it's not your fault. This scum is a scum bag. And you need to talk to your therapist about it.

I'm sorry this happened to you.



She said no first, but he ignored her and kept going, so if she then eventually asked him to wear a condom, its not implied consent, because he was doing it before that anyway.

I'm not going to go into the legal verbatim here, but this would fall a part in court, a decent defense attorney would tear the case to shreds. Anyway, morally speaking, it was rape, legally speaking, it won't stick. I'm sorry this happened to you, if I could, these types would be condemned to capital punishment, but all I can truly offer is my condolences for what happened to you.

[Revolution]

Originally Posted by grae96

Its to late to press charges. It happened last February. Btw he is 18.. but it is my fault he did it...

It is not your fault at all! Rape is never the vctim's fault. It doesn't matter if you agreed to oral sex, he had no right to keep going.

It maybe too late to bring it to court, but have you told your parents about it? Are you seeing a counselor?

[grae96]

Yes and yes... I'm scared of my dad now and Idk why...

[leavemealone]

Grae96,
You have to ask yourself this question; Did you want him to have sex with you? If no, than he did rape you. If yes, than technically it isn't rape unless he is 18 or older, because I see that your only 14 years old. That's an outrageous age to be having sex. And yes, I do see that it obviously wasn't your decision to have sex. In my opinion, he took advantage of you because your mom wasn't there for you and if you yelled to her, she probably wouldn't have come to help you. If you do decide that it was rape, than you need to tell a trusted adult, even if you don't want your friend to get in trouble for what he did. But he has to understand that he just cant be going around deciding to have sex with 14 year old girls.
Alice.
PS. Don't blame yourself for this happening. That is very common of rape victims, and you cannot let yourself believe that this was your doing. Believe me when I say this. It is not your fault. At all.

[grae96]

He is 18, I lost my vcard willingly two weeks before, he broke me even more cause about a month later I attemhqpted to kill myself.