TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Eating Disorders If you or someone close to you is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out here to ask questions or to receive support for recovery.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Noire Offline
When is the future?
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Noire's Avatar
 
Name: Jordan
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,302
Blog Entries: 505
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Do I have eating disorder tendencies? - March 30th 2015, 09:06 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of eating disorders, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

A bit of background: for most of my life, I have been overweight. When I was young I used to get made fun of in school for it. I weight much more than the other females in my family and it's always been hard not to compare myself to them.

When I was in high school I finally had enough and decided to start losing weight. At first I just started eating smaller portions and exercising a few times a week, but before long I was barely eating anything and exercising hard every day, sometimes burning more calories than I would eat in a day. My family started to get worried about how much weight I was losing. I was having health problems- muscle spasms, amenorrhea, and dizzy spells. I ended up gaining weight back when I went on a new medication. For a while I sat at a healthy weight, but in college I started eating poorly again. I would consume way too much sugar and large portion sizes. I got heavier than ever before.

At present, I don't dislike how I look. I find myself attractive. But I am pre-diabetic and I decided that cutting sugar and losing weight would help prevent diabetes. A few weeks ago I switched from eating two big meals a day to eating four or five small ones. I started exercising again. I've seen progress in weight loss so far; I've gone down a dress size.

But I've noticed something: anytime I deviate from my self-imposed diet, I get anxiety. I'll start feeling physically ill and beat myself up. I will go to the gym as soon as possible to "work off" the "bad" food I ate. But that's not what's worrying me most of all. Last night, I ate "too much" again. Really what all I ate that day was not unreasonable, but I ate past the point when I was full. I immediately began to think unkind thoughts towards myself. Finally I couldn't take it anymore; I jumped up, rushed to the bathroom, and tried to make myself throw up. I didn't succeed, and because I couldn't succeed I ended up crying in the bathroom. I felt awful knowing that I'd just tried to do that, and because I knew that my body was going to absorb all those calories. I'm really close to breaking my first weight goal and I felt like I'd undone it all. It didn't help that my best friend said, "Well, I guess you blew your diet, huh?" He didn't know I'd just tried to throw up in the bathroom, and I started sobbing.

This behavior worries me. I don't think I'm bulimic or anorexic, but based on my history and last night do I have ED tendencies that I need to watch out for? How can I do weight loss without getting too caught up in judgments that push me to make destructive decisions?


Love joins
Love unites
Love breaks us apart
The power to conquer here in our hearts
Enduring and sacred
Eternal as time
For love, love alone will conquer all


"A Million," by VNV Nation
  Send a message via Yahoo to Noire  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Kindred Offline
You can handle anything
I've been here a while
********
 
Kindred's Avatar
 
Name: Eyeliner Failure
Gender: Female
Location: Summoners Rift

Posts: 1,910
Blog Entries: 64
Join Date: March 20th 2012

Re: Do I have eating disorder tendencies? - April 1st 2015, 10:50 PM

I'm going to say yes. Any destructive urges related to food shouts eating disorder to me, and the attempted purging cements that.

I think you do need to be alert, especially based on your past. I, personally, would advise against dieting with your past. Some people (and you) may disagree with me here, but I think it's way too easy to slip back into old habits. Everyone underestimates the urges to return to something that was once familiar, and mindsets and switch back in a second. The only way I'd ever attempt anything near a diet in the future (after my history) would be eating more vegetables and healthier food. Not cutting out anything. Just introducing healthier foods, and if I end up not wanting chocolate one day because I've already eaten an apple, so be it. Cutting things out is a slippery path (as you've seen) and can lead to a lot of anxiety when you deviate from self inflicted goals. No expectations leads to no pressure. No pressure generally actually leads to results.

Exercising with a friend to prevent overexercising and eating with that friend afterwards to make sure you're replenishing your energy levels is something I'd recommend if you do want to aim for a "diet" type approach centered on weight loss. It's always nice to have someone to work out with anyway and having someone to keep an eye on you and notice how strange it is you're not eating more than you're burning is often incentive to stick to the path.

Your tendency towards anxiety and "purging" calories (you previously used exercising as a purge mechanism) means you need to be careful of how much exercise you're doing and is why I recommend against a strict plan and instead a more loosely focused healthy eating regime. If you do want to go the diet route I recommend doing it with someone who is not inclined towards destructive behaviors at all, or the help of a nutritionist. However I am worried a plan will simply cause you more anxiety if you deviate it from it- and everyone deviates from plans, we're human after all and no day is the same. One day you might crave a chocolate biscuit, if you eat it you might not crave one tomorrow...but if you deny yourself you're going to keep thinking about it and crave it forever

Listen to your body, and examine your thoughts. You know how to identify anything detrimental to your mental health, so focus on doing that and raise internal alarm bells at the first sign of anything going wrong.

Good luck



Take as long as you need.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
disorder, eating, tendencies

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.