Worried for my health (TW )

[PlutoTheOpposum]

Hey again~
More ventingg
Tw for purging/restricting

Recently (only like three weeks ago) I started feeling consistantly guilty for eating. I'm not just talking binging, even eating. I've always been overweight/obese, and I've always had a problem with binging. Occasionally I would restrict, but only up to a few days at a time. While I haven't eaten at school for a good while, i usually always eat at home. But as of these past 2 weeks, I've been avoiding as many meals/snacks as I can. I would heavily restrict the next day if I binged, and would always purge immedietly after dinner or a binge. I've become obsessed with calories and the scale, and if the scale goes up I restrict the next day. I've become anxious with foods I don't know the calories of, and dinner is the worst time (since I have to eat with my family, and they catch onto excuses pretty easily.)

I've been feeling blah as of recently, but I keep getting headaches and getting dizzy. I almost fell over today..the hunger hurts, too but as much as I hate to admit it it makes me feel validated.

I want to stop, but I don't want to stop. I don't think I have an eating disorder because I'm overweight and still eat. But I'm just scared I'm gonna get worse because I've lost a lot of weight and I feel naseous even looking at food.

Ahh thanks for listening thats all...

[Ennui.]

Hey,

I first want to say that everything you are going through is valid. It can definitely be scary and tough to go through something like this!

I want to start out by saying that anyone can have an eating disorder. It doesn't matter how much you weigh, whether you're overweight or not. There's a stereotype around eating disorders that everyone has to be stick thin, but that's not how it works. You can be any weight, age, race, gender identity, etc, and still have an eating disorder.

Remember that no matter what your size is you are amazing. Your weight does not define you. You deserve to eat when you feel hungry, and to stop eating when you feel full. You can even find healthy foods that you enjoy eating and see if your family will try new healthy recipes with you! You also deserve to enjoy what you eat. Food is fuel and it's what gives you the energy to get you through your day.

If you want to lose weight, it's important to do so in a healthy way. Do you have a doctor you can talk to? Maybe your doctor can give you some tips on how to incorporate diet and exercise into your life in a healthy way.

I know you may not want your family to find out, but you said they pick up on things pretty easily and I bet they'd rather find out directly from you, instead of from you getting very sick later on. For example, what if they got a call saying you passed out at school from not eating and had to go to the hospital? I'd sit down with them on a day when things are calm and let them know you have been struggling with eating lately. An alternative to this is to write them a letter that you either hand to them or leave where they can find it so that you get all of your thoughts out on paper without them interrupting you or you getting too nervous to say key points. Or you can talk to a guidance counselor and have them meet with you and your parents all together so the conversation is facilitated.

I know things are tough now, but you can get through this!

Dez

Hi there, thanks for reaching out! As Dez has said, everything you're feeling and thinking right now are completely valid. Also, as Dez has said as well, anyone can have an eating disorder. It doesn't matter how much you weigh or what your body configuration is; an eating disorder is an 'abnormal' eating pattern — restricting, purging, binging — where you try to change how you look in an unhealthy way.

You said you're overweight, and it sounds like you want to lose weight. Restricting and binging/purging is not the way to go about that. You're feeling lightheaded, dizzy, and faint because your body isn't getting the appropriate nutrients — such as greens and protein — because you're restricting what you eat. The best way to lose weight, or to get that momentum going, is to move around more.

Try walking more. For example, instead of taking the bus to school, the library, or the grocery store; could you walk? Of course, if it's within reasonable distance. Or take a nice walk around your neighborhood, and invite a friend or sibling along. Or, if you have a dog, it'd be a great opportunity to get them out for a walk as well! It's the little things that will make the difference; and it'll to take a long time. It'll take months, or years; but it'll happen.

Finally, have you considered meeting with a therapist or nutritionist to discuss options? I would reach out to your primary care doctor and see what you can do. I'm not sure how old you are, but perhaps you could reach out to your parents, a sibling, or another trusted adult for support.

You aren't alone. Wishing you the best of luck.

[PlutoTheOpposum]

Hello, sorry for waiting so long to reply, im rarely on here anymore.
My eating's still weird , but different because some weeks I eat an excessive amount of food, and other weeks (currently in this phase ( ) i eat hardly anything at all.

I let slip to my parents in an argument between us that I haven't really been eating, or if I do I eat too much.
and yesterday I accidentally skipped a bunch of meals (kinda forgot) and my parents got angry and made me eat a sandwich and a nasty v8 drink
I think they caught on ,because they didn't let me go to the bathroom for at least 20 minutes.

I was doing well at walking at school, because we walked around a mile per day and excersised for an hour, but I'm being taken out of that school and can't really go on walks by myself at home.

I still feel nauseous looking at food, like yesterday when i had a sandwich, but I'd rather feel like im gonna throw up then have my parents get mad at me.