My parents are emotionally draining me

[Ajr]

I'm 16 years old and my parents fight everyday. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 4 and my mom got remarried to my stepdad. Now my stepdad handles all the finances, even my moms bank account. It is now negative and my mom is selling everything to fix it but she won't let my stepdad help. They fight everyday and she won't even let him give me and my sisters money for school. It's gotten so bad that she sold her wedding rings and is selling other stuff. My mom gets so upset she is sleeping in a different room and scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush. My mom says she is just letting it go and is going to wait for the cops to take her away. She says everyday she hates him. I don't know what to do anymore. It's destroying me. She called me f-ing little girl tonight... I can't do this for much longer without finding some where else to live. Help?

[Chris]

First off, Welcome to TeenHelp.

I'm really sorry to hear about the situation you are in. I too, have dealt with emotionally draining parents that fight constantly. It obviously sounds like you mom is not in a good place right now. I have a few different things you could do. First, you can tell her how you feel. While I know you may be afraid of the outcome, it is very important that you communicate your feelings/thoughts about the situation to your mother. Tell her you are emotionally drained, and it is starting to affect many different aspects of your life. You can even write her a letter if that makes you feel any better. Point is: communicate your feelings.

If after that nothing improves, thats when you draw the line. At that point, unless your mom becomes abusive in other ways (IE: physical) there isn't much else you can do for her (like force her into getting help). Instead, you need to help yourself. Seek out help from a school counselor, and tell him/her whats going on. Join some clubs/sports/organizations to get you out of the house. Focus on building up your emotional, psychical and mental wellbeing. Take care of yourself.

Sometimes we can't control others (IE: your mom), and in cases like that, you can't do much else other than try to get her help, and if she rejects it, then finding help yourself (to manage YOUR personal wellbeing).

So stay strong, keep your head up, and push forward!


Best wishes,
Chris