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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Thumbs down My parents are still trying to control my life at 18. What should I do? - October 19th 2013, 12:36 PM

Alright, here's the situation:
I just turned 18 October the 2nd and I still live with my parents. I'm still in high school and I'm graduating in May. I don't do anything I'm not supposed to do.... I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, and I'm an overall good kid. I'm respectful to my parents and I respect their thoughts and opinions. My parents are really "old-fashioned", though. I've been with my boyfriend for two years and they still try to give me a curfew of 10:00 PM and I'm not able to stay the night at my boyfriend's house. They also won't allow me to be on birth control.

I respect that when I live under their roof, I should follow their rules, but they will not compromise with me. My boyfriend lives 30-45 minutes away from me and I don't get to see him very often. Sometimes, i would like to just stay the weekend or even just one night with him, because i'd be able to spend a little more time with him and it would be more convenient. I mean "spending the night" in the most innocent way possible. I don't even drive yet, because my dad insists on putting me through driving school first, so my boyfriend always drives to my house to get me and take me back home, and I always feel terrible, because gas is so expensive and he has to do all of the work. My parents never take me to see him. I also don't understand why I have to be home at 10:00 at night, I check in with my mom and let her know where I am and what I'm doing, and I still have to be home no later than 11:00 at night at all times.

Another issue that has been coming up a lot lately, is that my parents are trying to force me to move with them. My parents plan to move this spring or summer and I wanted to stay where I live now and go to college. Every time I mention staying here to my parents, they get angry with me and tell me that I have to move with them. I plan on moving in with my boyfriend and going to school here, but I haven't even told them that yet, because I know that they will completely detest the idea and try to find a way to move away sooner or something. So currently, this is a complete secret between me, my boyfriend, and my boyfriend's family, because my parents will not support the idea.... which hurts, because I want them to support everything I do.

Another thing, my boyfriend is really, really great and they never have problems with me hanging out with him. They just won't let me stay with him over 10:00 and they won't let me stay the night with him. They never mention anything about disliking him. My parents have also allowed me to go on a trip to South Carolina with him and his parents for a week before. He has dinner with us sometimes and he comes around, but they won't allow me to stay the night with him.

I'm just tired of feeling like my parents are holding me back from things I want to do. I know that legally, they cannot stop me from doing things I want to do, but like I said before, I really do respect them and I just want to please them. The last thing I want to do is make them upset. I understand that their strict because I'm a girl and I'm also the "baby" out of all my siblings, but I don't understand why I can't do things as simple and innocent as the things listed when I'm a good kid. I really need a way to convince them to be more lenient or actually ALLOW me to spend more time with my boyfriend. Help would be greatly, greatly appreciated.
   
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Re: My parents are still trying to control my life at 18. What should I do? - October 20th 2013, 08:11 AM

Do you have Planed Parenthood where you are from? That is where I got my birth control back when I didn't want my parents to know of my sexual activity. If I were your parents I would feel the same way, however I'm 20 and when it comes to my own life I feel exactly as you do.
   
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Re: My parents are still trying to control my life at 18. What should I do? - October 22nd 2013, 12:20 AM

Gahhhh, I know exactly how you feel! I'm 18 and I'm in college. They have given me a curfew 10 on school nights, 11 on week nights that aren't school nights, and 12 on weekends. I can drive, but they freak out if I drive anywhere but school. My boyfriend lives in another town about 40 mins away. He's busy because he's still in highschool and he plays football. I only get to see him on the weekends. He has more freedom than I do and he's only 17. Mine don't want me to get on BC, but I'm going to this month. I have health problems with my period that BC is supposed to slow down/stop. I wish I could help you, I really do. But just know that I'm here if you need me cause I know what you're going through.



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