Parents found my scars

[mskawrak98]

Ok so my parents saw the scars on my arm a couple days ago and they started asking loads of questions about how it happened. This is the second time they've seen them although I made up an excuse last time and I couldn't this time since they wouldn't believe me. I told them I was just scratching at my arm but I don't think they believe me since I've found them searching my room quite a few times for a what I cut myself with. It's incredibly frustrating every time I see them, and everyday they make me show them my arm and it honestly just makes me want to cut more because they're acting like idiots and treating me as if I don't know what I'm doing. They're even telling me to lie to my counsellor and tell him that I'm fine and I don't even know why, it's as if they don't care whether or not I get better. It just pisses me off and the worst part is that I can't tell them that what they're doing is making me feel worse and making me want to cut even more because I've told them before but they insist that they're trying to help me.

[Ginger98]

I understand your frustration...I have also been caught with cuts and scars many times by several people including my parents. And I'm not sure why they want you to lie to your counselor...maybe they just don't want your counselor to get worried and overreact.. But the fact that you are still wanting to cut more you should at least talk to somebody. Whether it be a friend or your counselor. I'm here if you need to talk about it or anything else okay? I understand completely what you're going through. I understand wanting to cut. And I understand that when parents act this way about the cutting it indeed makes you want to cut more. I get that--I really do. Message me? Stay strong!

[Ennui.]

Hey there,

I want to start out by saying that your parents are handling the situation wrong, but it doesn't mean that they don't care or aren't worried about you. I think it is a good idea for you to sit down with them and have a discussion with them about what is going on. Let them know that you appreciate the fact that they are concerned, but what they are doing is triggering you more. Let them know what WILL help you. I don't think they will let this drop easily, but at least if you have some sort of plan outlined as to what they can do to help and what will make it worse, they may ease up a bit.

I am not sure about why they are telling you to lie to your counsellor, but I don't think you should. Counsellors are there to help you get better, but to do that, you have to be able to be honest with them. You can always explain to your counsellor that your parents have instructed you to lie to him but this is something you need support on. Maybe he'll keep it confidential since they know?

I do think communication is important here.

-Dez

[stelles]

Your parents are trying, but definitely not doing very well. They probably don't know too much about self harm. Try talking to them. If that doesn't work, you can send them some websites or articles that explain self harm (they might ignore these or say they're wrong but it's worth a shot). I think you should talk to your counselor about it, even though your parents told you not to. Your counselor would probably be able to explain self harm to them, and help you recover.

Talking to your parents is definitely important. Let them know that they aren't helping. They are trying to help, but they don't understand that it isn't working. Communication with them is important if you want them to understand them. Also, if you tell your counselor and they are mad at you for doing so, explain why you did it. Let them know that you appreciate the attempt at help, but that it isn't actually very helpful.

It's probably good that someone knows, even though your parents aren't helpful. Once they get over the initial surprise of learning that you self harm, and after getting more information, they will hopefully be more helpful and supportive. Good luck, and message me if you need anything!

Hey there,

I think you should try talking to your parents about all of this. Let them know that the way they are handling this is only making you feel worse. Try and work out a plan that would help you work on overcoming the self harm. Maybe you could try talking to them when you feel an urge to harm yourself or something like that. It sounds like your parents are trying to help you through this they just don't know how. Maybe you could try googling some articles that would be helpful in helping them understand self harm and come to an understanding on how to help you.

I think that you should talk to your counselor about this. You know, it is possible for your counselor to talk to your parents and, possibly, help them to better understand self harm. That might be something for you to consider as well. However, keeping all of this from your counselor probably wouldn't do any good.

I really hope that this helped in some way and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

[mskawrak98]

Thanks for the advice. I'll try my best to talk to them about this but they can be quite stubborn so I might just write them a letter or something and I hate having to explain stuff like this to people so it might just be easier to write a letter.