How do I tell my parents I cut?!

[Jeren Selman]

Well one of my family members found out that I cut then she told one of my other family members and he told like everybody else in my family but my mom and dad and my grandmother is taking me out with my grandpa and my parents to lunch and she is making me tell them everything and I'm not sure how to tell/break it to them?!

[Ennui.]

Hey there,

I know that it may be scary to tell your parents about what is going on, but in the end it can be really beneficial to you to do so. This is because they can provide you with a lot of support during this time, and you really don't deserve to go through something like this alone. If possible, try and tell them before you go out to lunch, but if you have to tell them at lunch, I still think you should.

One option you have is to write them a letter that you give to them to read. That way, you would be getting everything out without any sort of nerves or interruptions getting in the way. I think the main points you have to get out are that you self harm and that you need support for it. Try and cover some of the basics of why you cut as well, because that is something that they will want to know. If you know of anything they can do to help, tell them, and the same thing goes for if you know things that you think will make it worse. They will still have questions or want to talk about it, but at least you will have the initial points out.

If you want to tell them verbally, I'd try and plan out what you are going to say first. I'd still suggest getting out some of the key points that I spoke about in the previous paragraph. At least if you write an outline first, though, you'd know the main ideas and some of the details you want to get out. Don't beat around the bush with them. Be honest and straightforward with them, because that way there isn't any room for them to doubt what you are trying to tell them. I think that's the best advice I can give you: Be honest to them.

In any case, it may be useful for you to print out information about self harm that you can give them to read up on. That way they can get a better understanding of what it actually means to self harm.

No matter what they say, try and stay calm. I know it's hard, but the calmer you are, the better they will be able to hear you out.

You can do this! I'd say getting it over with sooner rather than later, though, because that leaves you with less time to back out of it.

-Dez

Hey there!

Sorry to hear that some of your family members told others about that. Such a private thing, you must feel frustrated over that. Even though this is a scary situation, maybe it can turn out to be a good thing. If you tell your parents, they may be able to help you with your self-harm and get you a therapist if you wish.

You can write them a note about why you do it, and how you're feeling if you'd like. Sometimes writing it out on a note and giving to them feels easier than saying it verbally. Less chance of backing out and stuttering.

Do you feel like you wanna recover from self-harm? I know it might be hard, but you can do it. Do you have any hobbies? I suggest taking up hobbies and interests as distractions to help you keep from cutting. You can also click here for a list of self-harm alternatives. It's a list of things you can do when you get urges to self-harm, there's lots of stuff on there. You should try some of them when you feel like hurting yourself.

Opening up to others is a good step towards recovery. You can open up here as well if you feel comfortable. Would you wanna talk about why you hurt yourself? Feel free to, you can PM me if you'd like to keep it private. I definitely don't mind listening. You can also keep us updated on how the talk with your parents goes, hope it goes well for you and you get the support you need. Stay strong.

[Jeren Selman]

Thank you guys so much and I will take your guy's suggestions and I will for sure keep you updated, one again thank you so much