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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy Threatening parents - November 8th 2014, 04:04 PM

While it's only noon for me, it's already a bad day . I wanted to go do some things with my father, but was confronted by my mother, asking me where I'm how going, how long I'll be, etc, etc. When I told her I'll be with my father for a few hours she didn't like that and told me to live with him for a week. In other words, get out and don't come back. I cannot live with him because of his girlfriend who either she or himself doesn't want me around because I'm "trouble". When I told my father I'll be staying home because I can't take these threats from my mother anymore and don't want trouble, he got mad at me. He told me that I'm like my mother, I'm not a man, something about being in the streets, etc.

I can't stand it anymore, I'm being threatened and bullied by BOTH of my parents now who don't care about how I feel. My depression is also getting worse. I'm starting to become very angry and now I'm starting to express that anger because I cannot take this treatment by my parents anymore.
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Re: Threatening parents - November 8th 2014, 06:22 PM

Hey Ryan, from what you've posted it sounds more like your parents' problem is with each other more than with you and they end up taking it out on you and it's not fair. How you deal with it is really up to you, but if it's upsetting you this much, it might be worth considering putting a plan together to move out on your own because you shouldn't have to put up with that.


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Re: Threatening parents - November 10th 2014, 10:49 AM

Hey Ryan,

I agree with Kate. It sounds like the problem is caused by your parent's relationship with each other. If it is possible, could you move out and live on your own or with a friend?

If not, then could you at least speak to your parents about this, if you haven't already. You could sit them down together or separately (whichever is better according to you) when they are in a good mood and explain to them that the other person is still your parent and you need a relationship with them as well. In case of her mother, you could inquire about her concerns and give her a chance to calmly explain her feelings as well and then try to put her concerns to rest. You could then come up with a mutual agreement on the matter. You can try to explain your need for a father in your life and ask her if you can spend few hours with him in a month without it affecting your relationship with her.

Let them both know that you value each of their presence in your life and how it affects you when either of them is angry or absent.

You could write them a letter or an e-mail if you are more comfortable with that. A letter will also give you the chance to get across all your points without interruption. Though it is important that you ask them on their views and the problems that they have with the situation and have a face to face conversation once they have read the letter.

Here is a list of hotlines that can offer you more support and advice- http://www.teenhelp.org/hotlines/

I hope that this helps.

Please feel free to get in touch anytime.

Stay strong and all the best!



"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
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