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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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mahianreed Offline
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Unhappy My parents are way too strict and controlling.. - April 15th 2016, 09:07 AM

I'm a 17 (almost 18) year old girl and I live at home with my waaay to strict parents. I go to school and that is the only thing they care about; I have to study all day and night and if I fail a test, they'll block my bank card, etc. I'm not allowed to be on my phone for more than 30 minuts a day and they check everything. I'm not allowed to choose my own friends (she chooses them for me based on intelligence, race and gender) and she doesn't let me hangout with them. If she does, I'm only allowed to hang out with them within 1 mile in my house and not at their house for example. All my friends party but I'm not even allowed to talk about it. If I have my phone with me, they check my location every minutes. Sometimes they even follow me to where I go. Whenever I go outside, even if it is just the supermarket, they smell my breath to see if I drank any alcohol or smoked or anything.

They don't even let me choose what school I wanna go to, or what I wanna study. My dad often tells me that 'If I don't become a doctor, he will never talk to me again and pretend I'm not his daughter'.

Besides that they constantly swear and yell at me and often hit me. They tell me they wish I was dead and that I am just a disaster in the family. And that I am not worth more than garbage. I try not to give a shit about these words, but I do.

I also have bad anxiety and sleep problems but my mom doesn't even let me see a doctor for it because she doesn't want me to get prescribed medicine. (She doesn't even let me take ibuprofen when I don't feel good, or melatonin when I can't sleep..)

I really don't know what to do now
   
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Re: My parents are way too strict and controlling.. - April 15th 2016, 03:45 PM

Hey,

I'm so sorry about this situation, that's so unfair to you, and it sounds like talking to your parents about it might not help very much in this case. I think you should fins another adult that you trust to talk to about this, like an aunt, grandparent, or teacher. They might be able to step in and talk to your parents about this. It would also be good to talk to your school counselor about your situation with your parents and your anxiety. They could really help you a lot, and it would be great to have an adult you can trust and talk to at school. School counselors are a great resource and they're usually super nice, too.

Good luck! Message me if you need anything or want to chat

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Re: My parents are way too strict and controlling.. - April 15th 2016, 06:54 PM

jesus christ... and i thought i had it bad.

dude, i am so sorry you're going through this. seriously, words cannot express how much i feel for you.
there's really nothing you can do to change your home situation if your parents aren't willing to talk it out with you. i'd suggest talking to them about how you feel and about some changes you'd want to make in your life, but i'm assuming you've already attempted this and gotten shot down immediately.

however, you can, like the above poster said, talk to a school counselor about this. that would honestly be your best bet, because if they deem your situation dangerous to you then they will be more than happy to schedule a meeting with you and your parents and discuss this in a calm and civilized way. (i actually might be doing that soon for an issue involving my parents, and it sounds really promising. see, the counselors are trained to handle all sorts of people, so they might be able to calm your parents down. and if they're not, at least you'll be talking to them with someone else there, so they won't yell at you or hit you or anything. and if the counselor feels it's unsafe for you to go home with them after that, they'll probably do something about that.)

i'd also strongly advise you to start getting into contact with distant relatives, some that aren't necessarily close and in good relationship to your parents, and friends to see if you can find any temporary homes to go to the minute you turn 18.
this is not an okay situation, and your rights are not being respected at ALL.

hopefully if you have a few homes you can rotate through staying with, you can get a job and save up enough money to buy your own place.

it's just a suggestion.

i wish you nothing but the best of luck with this. stay strong.


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Re: My parents are way too strict and controlling.. - April 16th 2016, 12:44 AM

I agree with what other people have said in that you should consider talking to someone you trust about this, like a teacher or a school counselor. It will probably help because you won't have to keep this all to yourself anymore. It is possible that your counselor can bring your parents in and act as a mediator so you can say what you feel you need to say to your parents.

Once you're eighteen, your parents cannot keep you at home anymore. I highly suggest coming up with a plan so you have another place to go when you're legally an adult. I like the idea of speaking to relatives who won't tell your parents, or maybe speaking to your friend's parents to see if they can take you in for a while or help you find a place to live.


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Re: My parents are way too strict and controlling.. - April 17th 2016, 02:01 AM

I'm so sorry, that sounds horrible!

If they are hitting you, please call child services! You don't have to put up with this. <3
   
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