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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Exclamation Single mom and daughter fighting - July 14th 2021, 12:37 AM

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Hello, i need some advice..i don't think anyone is going to look at this but..I'll try. I'm always arguing with me my. Even if i try to talk to her in a gentle manner, she looks at me and acts like I'm against her. My mom doesn't have a good relationship with her mother. My grandma is very narcissistic and mean to her. She's always jealous of my mom but i don't know why ofc. Anyway, it hurts me when my mom comes home and i try to say hello but all she says is "don't say anything, leave me alone i just got home.." It's like she's forgetting she still has another kid to take care of (all my brothers are moved out, I'm 15) whenever we talk, it turns into arguments that could have turned into conversations. I try to tell her that I'm not trying to argue bc what wr argue is not even important to yell about. She also thinks that if i have a different opinion then her or if i disagree with her but still expect her opinion, she will call me ' oppositional' i tell her it's not but she keeps doing it. When she says it It's like my freedom of speaking to my mother about how i feel is gone and that she will block me out bc of some stupid thing she found on the internet she found when i was '5' it FRUSTRATES me so much!!! Pls help i need to know that I'm not the only one..it's affecting me and my mom slowly. I love her so much but she thinks that i don't think of her or care about her when i do a lot. Its frustrating that i keep telling her i care but she ignores it. We rarely have physical fights which turn into hitting and slapping and punching. If i scream out of frustration, she will yell and slap my head and whack me with anything she can find. I try to protect myself so i do push her away and kick her off of me. After the fight happen she pretends she didn't hit her minor daughter bc I'm screaming too loud. She denys it and said "i never touched you" i love my mom but it's going to affect the future. Someone needs to teach my mom how to deal with a teen daughter. I'm her first daughter. My mom loves me and i love her but she starting to not realise how much i would do anything for her..[/size][/color][/font]
   
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Re: Single mom and daughter fighting - August 1st 2021, 11:18 PM

Firstly, I'm sorry this hasn't received a response yet!

Based on what you've written, it sounds like your mum might be going through a lot of personal things and perhaps may be feeling burnt out from everything. She's obviously got something going on and it's not fair that she's taking it out on you.

You mentioned that you and your mum 'rarely' have physical fights which involve slapping and punching. However, these sorts of things shouldn't be happening at all. While I respect that in some cultures, slapping the back of the head is given to children as a sign of disrespect, or similar. As someone of Western culture, I personally don't find this, and especially not any punching/kicking to be acceptable at all.

As much as I would suggest writing a letter to your mum, or perhaps sitting down with her about her behaviour, I feel as if this course of action wouldn't yield any results. Is there anyone else you can discuss your home situation with? Perhaps a friend or family member? Maybe even a school teacher or similar? What's happening with your mum is obviously a lot to deal with, especially when you're trying to be reasonable.


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