Getting custody of a niece?

[oceaneyes95]

My brother and his wife are having a baby this summer. They have both expressed that they don’t want to baby because they don’t want to responsibility of taking care of her. They’re planning to pay a nanny to live in their home with them to take care of her and/or get her into a daycare as soon as she’s born. I’m more worried about her being emotionally neglected, and now knowing who her parents are or feeling unwanted/unloved/abandoned. I’ve talked to them about placing her for adoption, even open adoption. But, they weren’t having any of it. Is this enough for me to get custody of her?

[Ennui.]

It definitely would be awful on your niece to know that she is not wanted, and to constantly be taken care of by someone other than her parents such as a nanny. I'm sorry that she will have to go through that!
Are you able to consult with a lawyer? I can't say this is true in every circumstance since I have never tried, but sometimes lawyers will consult with a person for free and tell the person whether or not they think they have a case that will hold up in court. They will tell you if you must contact DCF (or your state's version) once the emotional neglect starts to happen.
If you do witness anything going on with the child, document it to the fullest extent possible. Write down dates, times, where you were, and what occurred. If you ever get any texts, emails, letters, or photos about your niece that are suspicious, be sure to save them. That will at least provide you evidence for your case.

[Ambedo.]

This sounds like an incredibly difficult situation to be in! It would definitely be awful for your niece to experience feelings of being unwanted or emotional neglect. I know it would also be incredibly tough for you, as her aunt, to witness.

I don't personally have experience in cases of child custody, but I do know that it is possible for extended family to be granted custody of a child if it is in the child's best interest. Perhaps you could make some calls or send emails to lawyers in your area that specialize in that particular type of law. While not all lawyers offer this, there are some that will give free consultations and help you determine whether or not you have a case, the best course of action to take, etc. Even if they aren't able to help you gain custody immediately, they may be able to point you in the right direction and give you some useful steps to take in the event that you notice this having an impact on your niece.

It's also incredibly important to document anything that you notice thoroughly. For instance, if you notice that your niece is being neglected or behavior that may be harmful to her, take note of it and be as detailed as possible. Take down the date/time you noticed the behavior, describe what you witnessed, and anything else that may be helpful. Having an overabundance of information is significantly better than not having enough, especially if it does turn out to be something you may need to report.

[oceaneyes95]

Thanks for all the advice, and I might consult with a lawyer. I also want to wait until after she’s born to see how things go because hopefully things go better than I expect, and maybe I won’t need to try to get custody. 🥰🙏🏼😌