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Anxiety and Stress This forum is for seeking advice on anxiety and stress related issues.

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Chaotic_ Offline
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Name: Cass
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e-mail anxiety? - March 1st 2017, 12:13 AM

So my counselor wants me to start e-mailing him on things that we can talk about, things he can do better to help me, etc.

E-mails make me extremely anxious but so does talking. I didn't e-mail him my last week and before I left he was like "make sure to e-mail me," so I feel super pressured to do so now.

I have this written out so far:

I think it would be helpful to focus on my main triggers and learn how to use coping mechanisms to help me get over those fears/thought patterns. The coping mechanisms work on daily life stressors, but I still typically avoid major stressors and thoughts, any way possible. By avoiding these things Iím not really getting better, itís actually probably just making it worse because the longer I avoid them, the more foreign they become.
I also think maybe talking in depth more about some of the issues, especially when it comes to issues with depression would be helpful because they mostly come from past experiences that I think Iíve overcome but really, Iíve just avoided it by never talking about it, and continuing projecting those fears into different areas of my life.

My fear is that I sound really stupid and I can't hit the send button. I don't know what to do, I want to get better but my anxiety gets in the way of me getting better I feel, if that makes sense.
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Celyn Offline
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Re: e-mail anxiety? - March 1st 2017, 12:35 PM

It does make sense!

Often times, with anxiety, we can be our own worst enemy. Wanting to get better, but then feeling anxious when we try to do something new. I avoid things too and in your email, you are definitely correct that though avoiding things helps a little in the short term, in the long term, it does nothing and may even make it harder.

I do understand your anxiety around talking and emailing. I also know what it's like to type something up and then pause before sending, or 'get distracted' and send it later. It sounds like your anxiety is stemming from the fact that you worry it sounds stupid. Remember that this fear, is coming from the negative thought of sounding stupid. But it's just a thought and might not be true (personally, I think your email is well worded and lets the counsellor know what you want to work on). It's also good that your counsellor is there to help you and whatever you talk about in sessions, or between sessions, he won't judge you.

I read a quote ages ago, something like, it only takes 20 seconds of insane courage to change your life. I think that makes sense. You've done the thinking of what you want to say, and typing it out. The last bit is pressing send. You may feel physically anxious, but I promise you, it's such a relief when it's done, and even better when your counsellor can try to help you more too! Also, the more you are able to email your counsellor in between sessions, you may notice that the less anxious you begin to feel as you send him emails.

Hope this helps a little

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