Triggering: Reoccurring anxiety

[Dawn.]

So I have been suffering from anxiety for the last 15 years. Nearly half my life. The last couple of months have been a rollercoaster for me in regards to my anxiety and I don't know how much of it I can deal with. I'm constantly thinking something awful is going to happen in particular when I'm driving. I've been driving since I was 16 and I have never really felt like this when it comes to it. It's frustrating me and I really do wish to seek help from a mental health professional, however, I have to make time to physically see my GP.
Because of my anxiety, I have no motivation and it had drained me of my energy, so now I have to really have to force myself to do things.
I am also burnt out from my work. I work 10 hours a day, 5 days a week and I'm struggling to keep up with my career, studying, social/family life, taking care of my physical/mental health as well as for my interests.

[Ennui.]

I'm so sorry to hear this!

For driving, I don't drive, but maybe you can leave your house a little earlier to sit in your car and prepare yourself for making the drive. Remind yourself that you are a good driver and follow the rules of the road so it isn't likely that you will cause an accident. Also remind yourself that you've been driving for a long time now and have a lot of experience under your belt, which makes it less likely that you will get into an accident. Maybe while you are driving you can play some calming music or a podcast while you are driving to help relax you a little bit more.

Maybe try and make some time every day, even if it's just fifteen minutes, to reward yourself for getting through a long work day, or a long day in general. You don't have to do anything major. It can even be drinking your favorite beverage or reading a chapter in a good book. It's important to take at least a few minutes out of our day just to do something for ourselves.

When I get too anxious or lost in my thoughts, I put an ice pack on my forehead or the back of my neck to give myself a little bit of a "reset." The cold distracts me and also helps just to lower the heart rate and get back to a baseline.

Making time to see a doctor is definitely difficult, but I think it would be really worth it for you to put in for some time off of work to get it done sooner rather than later. The more you put it off, the less likely you are going to do it and the more your anxiety will continue to spike. It's a huge accomplishment to reach out for help.

I hope things start looking up for you soon!

[Dawn.]

Originally Posted by Ennui.

I'm so sorry to hear this!

For driving, I don't drive, but maybe you can leave your house a little earlier to sit in your car and prepare yourself for making the drive. Remind yourself that you are a good driver and follow the rules of the road so it isn't likely that you will cause an accident. Also remind yourself that you've been driving for a long time now and have a lot of experience under your belt, which makes it less likely that you will get into an accident. Maybe while you are driving you can play some calming music or a podcast while you are driving to help relax you a little bit more.

Maybe try and make some time every day, even if it's just fifteen minutes, to reward yourself for getting through a long work day, or a long day in general. You don't have to do anything major. It can even be drinking your favorite beverage or reading a chapter in a good book. It's important to take at least a few minutes out of our day just to do something for ourselves.

When I get too anxious or lost in my thoughts, I put an ice pack on my forehead or the back of my neck to give myself a little bit of a "reset." The cold distracts me and also helps just to lower the heart rate and get back to a baseline.

Making time to see a doctor is definitely difficult, but I think it would be really worth it for you to put in for some time off of work to get it done sooner rather than later. The more you put it off, the less likely you are going to do it and the more your anxiety will continue to spike. It's a huge accomplishment to reach out for help.

I hope things start looking up for you soon!

Hi Dez,

Thank you for that. I am feeling a little more positive as I think about the future and I hope this continues.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm sorry about everything you have been going through and I hope that you will be okay soon. With driving, try to stay calm and not to stress and I hope you are able to find some time for yourself. I hope you will be okay soon.

[Dawn.]

So my anxiety is in full swing today due to a number of triggers, mostly brought on myself.

[NeuroBeautiful]

Hey Dawn,

I am sorry to hear that your anxiety is in full swing. I know you mentioned you brought it on yourself. I want to say that it is not something to feel ashamed about. Anxiety is actually there to protect you. Maybe the self-talk you can use is "Thank you body for alerting me to danger but right now the anxiety is not serving me and I want to be able to face my fears by driving. Please let me do this" It might feel cheesy to talk like this but it is more about setting intentions and definitely switch it up to do it your own style.

Another part of this to keep in mind is that it is important to stick to the facts. I used to strongly dislike this DBT skill but I realized it has its place. My therapist used this when I was overreacting to a trauma trigger. She helped me realize that there are facts and there is how I'm interpreting it as much scarier than it actually is. As Dez said, remind yourself you have a pattern of being a safe driver. That's a fact. Remind yourself you've been doing it for a long time, also a fact.
I remember when I was at a camp and was afraid to go on a this swing contraption. The staff facilitating it said that the contraption was used to lift airplanes, and how much do I weight that I think I'm going to make the whole thing collapse? I don't have that kind of power, as much as my anxiety convinced me that I did.


Some people might think of their anxiety [disorder] as a Part that is sort of frozen in time to the age that the anxiety first began. So when it was 15 years ago for example, you were a child! How would you speak to a child who is genuinely afraid? How would you comfort that child and remind them that you as an adult got this but said child needs to step back a little and let your adult self be the adult! This might be more long term work because like any child, we start with building a trusting relationship before we ever begin with critical feedback.





Anxiety is an automatic response. This doesn't mean you are helpless and stuck. It just means that the anxiety lives in your body and it is time to come up with 2-3 grounding techniques that you find can work. This means trying a bunch till you find the few that work.

This may be far fetched but some drivers with anxiety actually seek specific driving instructors for that even after they've gotten their license. For example I know that my previous neighbor took driving lessons specifically for highways/expressways/boulevards because that was specifically bringing up anxiety for her. Alternatively, maybe a family member or friend is willing to be your buddy on this and maybe in return you can be a buddy for them on something they're working on? Rally up that support, even if you just tell friends that this is something you're working on and you are telling them about it becsuse you know they're supportive and ask if they can be a moral support to you. Most people want to be helpful if they're shown how. Moral support makes a difference when facing fears because at the end of the day, you are really the one doing it "alone" as no one can have courage on your behalf but people can cheer you on and it makes it less isolating.

When you drive, personalize it in whatever way you can. Anything that would make you feel more comfortable when it comes to decoration, scents, snacks, gum, podcasts and/or music playlists and/or CDs. This will motivate you because it will make the trip more pleasant. Of course you know yourself best and you won't do anything that is counterproductive or distracting or can make you sleepy. Aim for calm yet alert. Similar to how you would prepare for studying? That's what comes to mind but obviously you know what vibe would work.


Anyway, I hope that your day improves from here despite the high anxiety. Please be kind to yourself. Kind doesn't mean passive. It just means a combination of accountability and taking care of your emotions whereas shame will definitely make it worse.

[This_is_the_greatest_plan]

Hi Dawn 15 years is a big chunk of your life. It sounds like its been worse lately but before that it wasnt so bad, right? And that theres something about driving that just makes it worse.
I can see you want to get help and go and talk to your GP but you dont have the energy to do it. You mentioned being burned out so I guess its the burnout thats making it hard to make yourself go see your GP. Would that be accurate?
And for what its worth, youre doing a lot - maintaining a career and studying, youve got a social and family life to keep up with, and looking after yourself on top of all that. That really is a lot.

[Dawn.]

Originally Posted by NeuroBeautiful

Hey Dawn,

I am sorry to hear that your anxiety is in full swing. I know you mentioned you brought it on yourself. I want to say that it is not something to feel ashamed about. Anxiety is actually there to protect you. Maybe the self-talk you can use is "Thank you body for alerting me to danger but right now the anxiety is not serving me and I want to be able to face my fears by driving. Please let me do this" It might feel cheesy to talk like this but it is more about setting intentions and definitely switch it up to do it your own style.

Another part of this to keep in mind is that it is important to stick to the facts. I used to strongly dislike this DBT skill but I realized it has its place. My therapist used this when I was overreacting to a trauma trigger. She helped me realize that there are facts and there is how I'm interpreting it as much scarier than it actually is. As Dez said, remind yourself you have a pattern of being a safe driver. That's a fact. Remind yourself you've been doing it for a long time, also a fact.
I remember when I was at a camp and was afraid to go on a this swing contraption. The staff facilitating it said that the contraption was used to lift airplanes, and how much do I weight that I think I'm going to make the whole thing collapse? I don't have that kind of power, as much as my anxiety convinced me that I did.


Some people might think of their anxiety [disorder] as a Part that is sort of frozen in time to the age that the anxiety first began. So when it was 15 years ago for example, you were a child! How would you speak to a child who is genuinely afraid? How would you comfort that child and remind them that you as an adult got this but said child needs to step back a little and let your adult self be the adult! This might be more long term work because like any child, we start with building a trusting relationship before we ever begin with critical feedback.





Anxiety is an automatic response. This doesn't mean you are helpless and stuck. It just means that the anxiety lives in your body and it is time to come up with 2-3 grounding techniques that you find can work. This means trying a bunch till you find the few that work.

This may be far fetched but some drivers with anxiety actually seek specific driving instructors for that even after they've gotten their license. For example I know that my previous neighbor took driving lessons specifically for highways/expressways/boulevards because that was specifically bringing up anxiety for her. Alternatively, maybe a family member or friend is willing to be your buddy on this and maybe in return you can be a buddy for them on something they're working on? Rally up that support, even if you just tell friends that this is something you're working on and you are telling them about it becsuse you know they're supportive and ask if they can be a moral support to you. Most people want to be helpful if they're shown how. Moral support makes a difference when facing fears because at the end of the day, you are really the one doing it "alone" as no one can have courage on your behalf but people can cheer you on and it makes it less isolating.

When you drive, personalize it in whatever way you can. Anything that would make you feel more comfortable when it comes to decoration, scents, snacks, gum, podcasts and/or music playlists and/or CDs. This will motivate you because it will make the trip more pleasant. Of course you know yourself best and you won't do anything that is counterproductive or distracting or can make you sleepy. Aim for calm yet alert. Similar to how you would prepare for studying? That's what comes to mind but obviously you know what vibe would work.


Anyway, I hope that your day improves from here despite the high anxiety. Please be kind to yourself. Kind doesn't mean passive. It just means a combination of accountability and taking care of your emotions whereas shame will definitely make it worse.

Thank you so much for your reply. It really helped a lot.
When I'm driving, it seems that I'm ok but it's the overthinking later on that gets to me; I reflect on what I've done. To be honest, it's exhausting.
I am trying to change my situation in order to help myself not feel so anxious but unfortunately, it is going to take time to do this.

Originally Posted by This_is_the_greatest_plan

Hi Dawn 15 years is a big chunk of your life. It sounds like its been worse lately but before that it wasnt so bad, right? And that theres something about driving that just makes it worse.
I can see you want to get help and go and talk to your GP but you dont have the energy to do it. You mentioned being burned out so I guess its the burnout thats making it hard to make yourself go see your GP. Would that be accurate?
And for what its worth, youre doing a lot - maintaining a career and studying, youve got a social and family life to keep up with, and looking after yourself on top of all that. That really is a lot.

Thank you so much for your reply. You really helped.
My anxiety often comes in waves. It's just waiting to change my situation that is going to be the most frustrating part.
Yes. I simply don't have the energy to sit in a doctors reception for hours on end all for a quick 5 minute appointment.
Let's hope there is some relief in the near future.