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CrystalJade Offline
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Age: 26
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Location: Washington

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Moving most likely and unsure about school. - February 26th 2014, 05:35 AM

I currently am a resident (born and raised) in KS. It appears my boyfriend and I will be moving to CO in a few months though. Here's my issue...

Can I do online classes from a KS college for a year until I get my residency then go to a CO college so I can avoid paying out of state tuition? Or am I just going to have to take another year off and do it that way? If I drop below full time status for 6 months then I have to start paying back my loans though and I don't feel I can at this point and I don't really want to take another year off. Out of state tuition is crazy though...

Another issue I'm struggling with is I don't want to leave my family. I'm excited about the possibilities in CO but it kills me to leave my dad and neice. I'd only get to see them like once a year or so. My neice is going to be a year old in about two weeks so it's important to be there to grow close to her but right now my sister lives 20 minutes away from me and I only see my neice when my parents come to visit me and they are almost 2 hours away. It also bothers me that my parents will go see my sister but not come see me. They haven't visited me in about 6 months or so, I've had to go home to see them.

The reason for the move is that's where my boyfriend's family is at and he misses them. His brother is going through a nasty divorce right now and he feels the need to be there for his neice too, she's struggling with it all.

One last thing is... Since I'll be moving out of state for him (for me too in some aspects but it still saddens me in a way) I want him to propose. We have been together nearly 2.5 years and I know I love him but he "doesn't feel ready". He's felt ready two other times but we got into an argument and he changed his mind. We've been doing so much better and I trust him more and we've stopped arguing. I feel ready and I want to feel affirmation that he loves me too and I'm not going to get screwed in the move or in our relationship (if that makes sense). I want to be with him and I feel like this is a HUGE move on my part.

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, I just wanted to put everything involving this out there. Any and all help is appreciated. I just really need help on the schooling and other issues.
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SpecterH Offline
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Name: Harvey S.
Location: Canada

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Re: Moving most likely and unsure about school. - March 1st 2014, 06:44 PM

With regards to whether or not you can take those courses online, it's best to talk to the schools directly. Every school will have different policies about those kinds of things, and you'll get the most accurate information from those schools directly.

Moving away from your friends and family can be hard, especially if it's not a temporary move. At the end of the day, we need to make these big decisions in our lives, and you need to weigh the pros and cons. What is most important to you right now? Is it being close to your boyfriend? Being in your niece's life? Being close to your family? I know it's going to be difficult to choose, but in this case, you really need to prioritize.

Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. I know that he feels it's necessary to move to be closer to his family, but what about your family? Personally, I don't see how it's fair to have you move out-of-state to be with his family, when you're going to leave your family behind - especially if your family is really important to you, and you've told him that. I know relationships make moving difficult, but like I said before, you really need to prioritize and make those hard decisions. But, my advice would be to talk to him about it.

After reading this, I'm not sure that this is even a healthy relationship for you to be in. I could be completely wrong, but I feel this way because of how certain things are worded and because of certain things that have been said. I know that you've been together for a while now, and it's normal to want a proposal. But I feel like you may think that because you're moving to a new state primarily for him, that you somehow deserve a proposal. I'm not sure how I feel about this because a proposal is something that should happen naturally, and you shouldn't agree to move partially because you're expecting something out of it.

That whole last paragraph doesn't sit right with me. I know that arguments can really put a damper on things, but they really shouldn't prevent someone from proposing - twice. If a guy was serious about proposing, I feel like an argument shouldn't prevent him from doing that. It may prevent him from proposing that same night, but what about in a couple of days? Or the following week? Now, all of a sudden, he's not ready? To me, this shows that he's not sure about the whole relationship. I would never move out-of-state in this situation, to be completely honest.

With all of this being said, you don't have to listen to me. This is merely my own opinion, and you know and understand your situation better than I ever will. Whatever you decide, do what you feel is best for you.

Good luck.

Harvey Specter
Don't play the odds, play the man.
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Ambiance Offline
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Re: Moving most likely and unsure about school. - March 4th 2014, 03:02 AM

I know you were probably looking for a more detailed response, but this is all I'm going to say. Getting residency from a college is a bitch, and putting your education off for a boy will lead to resentment, no matter how serious the two of you believe you are, his priorities should not be more important.
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