Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Everglow.]

Nowhere to go and cry but I can feel it coming on anyway.
Want to go to bed and sleep.
Had enough.

[Tigereyes]

Stop fucking misusing "triggered/triggering"!

[Lunar]

I hate how everything seems so difficult lately.

My head hurts and I hate that I haven't been reading as much! I have no real coping skills right now.

[TraitorBaby]

I hate you so much. I hate you and everything you've done.
I went there to go cry you bitch. I don't have anyone, you made sure of that. I went there to cry because I'm trapped here with you and I still have 176 days till I can legally do something about it. I'm going to leave and never look back and your gonna eat your fucking words.

I think I have bronchitis which is fun stuff!

[Lunar]

I hate that I've been forced to 'pace' myself. I guess I know it's best for my health, but at the same time I feel as though I'm not really doing anything at all. It's so frustrating.

My car is leaking oil or something. It's probably been doing so for ages. The mechanic hasn't gotten back about it but I am worried it is going to be a lot. My dad said if it's $300-$400 total that I can have him do it. If it's more than I'll have to get a hold of my dad and he isn't answering his phone.

I can't use my card. I could but if I did my dad will have to make monthly payments of $30 and he already owes me money!

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I don't belong anywhere. No matter how hard I try, my best is never good enough. I'll never be good enough. I'm worthless.

It's so annoying that they did that. No notice that it was implemented in January and so they aren't giving me the money back for Jan and Feb. I have the documentation that I only ever received something in March so I'll fight it but it will take months.

I also have proof that ... I got it taken care of in September and NO ONE TOLD me that it could automatically reinstate. It's such a pain. If I get the money back it's going in savings or something. That could help a great deal.

Just gotta be positive but SSA is pretty screwed up so they'll try and screw me.

[Kate*]

Our taxes are done, all you have to do is file them. Then I can make this payment and fix the Medicaid that I haven't had for 4 fucking months now. The holidays are over and it's basically Wednesday now. How long could this possibly take?!

Not to mention I'm preparing myself to work 4 days straight which wouldn't be bad except day 4 is an 8-hour Saturday. I'm tempted to call off so I'll get paid without having to actually do it.

Maybe you put the guilt on me so you don't have to deal with it but I am sitting here worried you're going to die.
You might have normalized it but I can and I know when I move ... we won't have a relationship because I won't be around him.

[Everglow.]

Feel really weak and tired.
Wanrnto give up on everything tbf.

So sick and I would rather go to sleep than try and figure out how to get into see a doctor. Urgent care opens at 9pm and I think my doctor does to so I might just go to urgent care.

[Kintsukuroi.]

I’m so exhausted it’s not even funny. My dog has been waking me up 5-10 times a night (from midnight till 5:30am) to go outside. I have no idea how much sleep I’ve gotten in the past 2 weeks but it’s not a heck of a lot.

I have bronchitis or some type of infection. You didn't treat me correctly. You didn't check my ears, you didn't listen when I said I was sore all the time, I have green mucus which means an infection.

I do not want to get pneumonia and it will turn into that. Wasted $15 and probably gonna have to go in tomorrow.

[Kate*]

Why isn't it updated. I just want to pay it and get it over with.

[NovoK9]

Ignore me why don't you? After I helped your fucking ass?! I can't even begin to explain everything that's wrong with that. But whatever, Fuck me right?

[Kate*]

So, despite the fact that you're retired with no obligations to your mother today, you didn't call the vet (poor kitty) or do any of the laundry, so I didn't finish it until midnight and I still have to work tomorrow and do an 8-hour Saturday. wtf?!

To take the cough medicine or not...that is the question. I could take it and I might get more sleep or I could wait and see if I get tired a bit later? IDK. I don't want to rely on it to sleep but this cough is so damn bad. Maybe I'll just apply to a few jobs instead?

Probably going to skip the medication for now. I know it will help me sleep but I get scared of becoming dependent.

[Tigereyes]

I really want to drop out of college or kill myself, but I can't do either, so I want to relapse because there's no other way to get through this. The only way to hold myself together might be to let myself fall apart.

This medication makes me sick to my stomach. That is a side effect but I never used to get like this. Darn it. It's worth it to get better but I hate these things ... they make me feel like a gross woman/human.

[MWF]

Ugh. I just gave a really shitty presentation.
Should've studied more. Whatever.

[Everglow.]

When people start taking the piss out of me in public and I'm suddenly a paranoid anxious 14 year old again who wants to be invisible.

[Lunar]

I hate the fact that I get so tired so easily. I know it's because of my health issues, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept. I just want to be able to finish all the things I need to finish without having to stop for a break every 30 minutes because I have to pace myself.

[Celyn]

I'm just so tired today.

[Kate*]

Your self-righteous entitlement disgusts me.

8 hour Saturday starting 13 hours after the end of my last shift is not only stupid, it's insane. I'm NEVER doing this again. Add on almost no sleep and it's even worse.

He needs to go to the vet NOW! I know money is tight, but he's getting worse, and the thought of him suffering because you're delaying care over money makes me sick.

I feel like I am never gonna get a job..."Something will come along" doubtful not even they know how to help me.

[nothereanymore]

I miss her.

[Everglow.]

Manager can't do a Rota properly so yet again I'm having to rush to work to do an earlier shift because he forgot to allocate it to somebody.
In for another stressful day at work. Never seem to get a break from it.
Sick to my stomach of this crap.

I am trying to write a blog but can't because I feel like I've been too open and have to be quiet. I feel like I said too much.

[Tigereyes]

MAYBE I'M JUST TOO FUCKING STUPID FOR COLLEGE.,

[Kate*]

ONE more child runs through my area, I'm going to lose it. And it didn't get bad until I took my second break, now I won't have time to fix it, but it won't matter anyway because we don't close for 4 hours afyer I leave!

My head hurts. It could very well be stress. Probably time to get in with a neurologist.

[Starseeker]

I've had such a happy birthday party today. Almost-everything went okay, except two minor inconveniences which didn't really affect the party in the end. I've come back home and I don't want to live anymore.
I've had this feeling a few times now. Everytime after having fun or meeting people I like I just want to kill myself. What's wrong with me?

I am struggling a bit but I think it will be okay.

[Starseeker]

It's past 1 am and I'm still up. Why am I still up? I want to die.

I don't know why I try. It all feels so personal. I am sure that it is not but come on now.

[Kate*]

Maybe I should just do things and never tell anybody anything. People need to fucking CHILL!

Second cup of coffee was a mistake. Adrenaline is coursing through me and I'm wondering if I've actually never fit anywhere or if I just felt like I never fit anywhere. Wondering what was a genuine experience and what was others "pretending to accept me or just putting up with me." Will I ever be genuinely accepted anywhere like I deserve to be? I don't even know what to call this!

Are you kidding me? After all the trouble we went to to get to the museum today I didn't follow the instructions for the project correctly. Now I probably have to go back again. Just great. Good job, Jordan, good job you fucking fuck up.