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  (#161 (permalink)) Old
kitten♥ Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 3rd 2009, 06:40 AM

im scared ur only pretending to be my friends, and your laughing at me behind my back

x
  (#162 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 3rd 2009, 10:48 AM

i think ****** might be the best thing that ever happened to me.


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



  (#163 (permalink)) Old
Gaia Offline
same same, but different.
Outside, huh?
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 3rd 2009, 01:25 PM

I think I miss you, though I can't be sure if it's just the company. and not the person.


"Life is pain, anybody that says different is selling something" ~ Fezzik's Mother, The Princess Bride. ♥

"To die, would be an awfully big adventure."~ Peter Pan

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

~ The Buddha

14-04-2010. R.R <3
  (#164 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 3rd 2009, 02:02 PM

I cant cope alone anymore..


Always happy to help =)
I Love Andrea.... =)
Forever.
  (#165 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 4th 2009, 12:14 AM

I wish I'd never met him. He's not making things easier, and he lives too far away to ever have a real relationship. He just doesn't get it...



"I heard once that love is friendship on fire.
That's how I feel about you."
  (#166 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 4th 2009, 12:49 AM

I don't know if I can make it.. I don't want to make it..
  (#167 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 5th 2009, 04:54 AM

i cant do it anymore


If I could get,
Another chance
Another Walk
Another Dance
with him

I would play a song
that would never ever end
I would love, love, love,
To dance with my father again.
  (#168 (permalink)) Old
Tilley Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 5th 2009, 05:01 AM

Je voudrais être assez bon pour vous


If I could get,
Another chance
Another Walk
Another Dance
with him

I would play a song
that would never ever end
I would love, love, love,
To dance with my father again.
  (#169 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 7th 2009, 07:54 PM

This site does a hell of a lot more bad for me than it does good...

...maybe thet's why I keep coming back.


The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows...
Keep The Blood In Your Head, And Keep Your Feet On The Ground.



Nov 29th 2010 <3


Do I Divide And Fall Apart?
My Bright's Too Slight To Hold Back All My Dark.
  (#170 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 7th 2009, 08:15 PM

I cant wait til he's back tomorrow although not being clingy has made it easier. Its not been as hard as I thought it would..
  (#171 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 9th 2009, 01:54 AM

You kind of make me hate myself, doubt myself, question myself and wonder if I'm good enough. :/


"You've just been B-Wildered." -Brian Wilson <3
Trumpet love; Tenderlips.

"Where there is love there is life."- Mahatma Gandhi

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

  (#172 (permalink)) Old
losing touch. Offline
oh, really?..
Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 9th 2009, 02:00 AM

i often wonder if i've done something to deserve this. like this is life's way of punishing me and saying.. "fuck you.. haha.."

idk.

but i'm not done living yet. so heres me saying.. "fuck you.."


..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..



  (#173 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 10th 2009, 12:39 AM

- I know I wont be able to make new friends when we move
- I call you my best friend but lately I want to slap you!
- Its been a year now; why do I still want to speak to you?!
- I had drunken sex with someone I work with; he doesn't remember but I do!
- I just want to escape from being me



Just Watch My Wildest Dreams Come True
Not One Of Them Involving YOU!



  (#174 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 10th 2009, 01:24 AM

You were my first kiss. My first night not alone. The first time I felt like that. Your scent, your eyes. I want every part of you.

why do you have a 2.5 year girl friend? why did you do it if you didn't like me more than a friend? why can't I be her?

yeah, I'm sure you told her and that she didn't get upset at all. liar.

I'm trying to be mad at you, but right now all I want to be is back in your arms.
fuck love. I just want someone for me. I'm sick of being a third wheel

yet I can't say no to you...you are my best self destructive habit.
one day this is going to pay off
when you guys are over
  (#175 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 10th 2009, 10:05 PM

I sometimes really wish I were friends with the popular girls again.
I used to want people to think I'm smart. Now I want them to think I'm dumb.
I hate it when people think I'm really smart or a really good person.
I wish I could tell my friends some of my secerets, but they won't listen...


"I never say what I mean, but I always manage to say something similar." - Eugene Ormandy"
  (#176 (permalink)) Old
Shopaholic Offline
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February 10th 2009, 10:13 PM

I can't stand myself.
  (#177 (permalink)) Old
Casey. Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 11th 2009, 04:52 AM

I'm terrified of him.
I don't know if I can make it anymore.
I am not okay, okay? I'm really not okay.
And I'm madly in love with her, I would save the world for her.


She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.


Smile through the tears.


PM me

  (#178 (permalink)) Old
Bibliophile Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 11th 2009, 08:12 AM

Its CAMH's day.
Doomsday.
Goodbye.
The day i die.
  (#179 (permalink)) Old
Xujhan Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 11th 2009, 09:35 AM

I'm afraid that when I tell my girlfriend of all the people I've hurt in the past, she won't be able to look me in the eye any more.

I'm even more afraid that she will, because I know I might hurt her too.
  (#180 (permalink)) Old
CoffeeAddict Offline
legen..wait for it..DARY
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 11th 2009, 10:27 AM

I really like my boyfriend, but I don't like the fact he has a kid...


Who do you carry that torch for, my young man?
Do you believe in anything?
Or do you carry it around just to burn things down?

Meet me tonight on the turnpike my darling,
where we believe in everything.
If we sweat all these debts then we're sure to drown,
so let's strap ourselves up to this engine now
with our God who we found laying under the back seat.
  (#181 (permalink)) Old
Half doomed and semi-sweet <3
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 11th 2009, 03:00 PM

I love my best friend...but she is contantly sleeping with so many different guys. I dont have any respect for her anymore.
I want to shake her and make her see herself as I see her. Maybe then she'll change.


H a p p i n e s s.
  (#182 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 16th 2009, 08:07 PM

I fantasize about sex with my significant other so much that I am beginning to dream about it... the problem is, we've been going only 3 months. I don't want to take it to that level to early on... and yet I do! SO MUCH!


I love the name of honour more than I fear death.
  (#183 (permalink)) Old
chanise Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 16th 2009, 08:18 PM

Umm..i'm confused... about somethng i should'nt even be thinking about..


Always happy to help =)
I Love Andrea.... =)
Forever.
  (#184 (permalink)) Old
CoffeeAddict Offline
legen..wait for it..DARY
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 16th 2009, 09:58 PM

I hate how you've made me feel


Who do you carry that torch for, my young man?
Do you believe in anything?
Or do you carry it around just to burn things down?

Meet me tonight on the turnpike my darling,
where we believe in everything.
If we sweat all these debts then we're sure to drown,
so let's strap ourselves up to this engine now
with our God who we found laying under the back seat.
  (#185 (permalink)) Old
almostinvisible Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 12:01 AM

I'm in love with someone and I don't even know if they're real.
I feel like I'm alone all the time, and my friends are only friends with me because they pity me.
I don't want to stop cutting.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be happy because it's not fair to anyone else.
I hardly ever say I love you to my sister because I don't know if that's true.
I wish I had a best friend.
I think if I was ever in a situation where I could die I think I'd take it.



You're everything I know that makes me believe
I'm not alone
You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?
  (#186 (permalink)) Old
beckie Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 12:47 AM

I'm scared.


The prettiest things can come out of the coldest night.


At one point, all you ever did...
was everything you ever wanted.


Snap back to reality. <3
  (#187 (permalink)) Old
chanise Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 12:53 PM

my wifey makes my life worth living..


Always happy to help =)
I Love Andrea.... =)
Forever.
  (#188 (permalink)) Old
Bibliophile Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 01:11 PM

I know what your trying to do,and it won't work.
  (#189 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 01:58 PM

I pretend to be strong in front of you all, but underneath I'm broken.
I broke a long time ago.
I tried to kill myself.
and I wish I'd succeeded.


Benjamin Thomas Liam Declan Matthew Jamie Tyler Oliver **********
-My full name
(Obviously my parents couldn't decide on just one name)
PM me ANYTIME and I WILL get back to YOU.
  (#190 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 05:39 PM

I am so deeply enthralled with you most when you're not around... when we're not talking, when you're angry with me, when I miss you.

But then you come back and I feel indifferent.


I love the name of honour more than I fear death.
  (#191 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 05:47 PM

Im Bi And I Loved This Guy, He Dies And I Felt So ALone, I fell In Love With A Girl And Even Though We Have Been Split Up For A Year I Can't Get Either Of Them Out Of My Mind. I Feel Like Im Insulting His Memory And Cheating On Him But Im Also Confused About What I Feel For Her
  (#192 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 06:12 PM

- When I was twelve I wrote that I wanted to attempt suicide, but I didn't want to actually die, I just wanted people to know how I felt. Life does have a way of giving us exactly what we want sometimes.

- I wish my parents had sent me to that mental institution. I've never been to one and I'm curious. Besides, it would've been better than sitting at home for two months wondering if I was crazy.

- I used to plagiarize essays in 7th grade back before I knew how to write. My dad would tell me what to write and I'd type it. I wanted to apologize to my teacher, but now she's retired.

- When I play DDR with my friends, I deliberately pretend to suck so they don't feel bad.

- A part of me doesn't want to get better. Because if I'm happy, that means what my parents did to me was right.
  (#193 (permalink)) Old
Anna Skye Offline
live and let love...
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 06:15 PM

It doesn't hurt to eat with braces THAT much... I just don't want you to think that I'm spiraling back into an ED (which I think I may be... :/)

peace and love


If you read this signature,
know that someone cares about you.
You are not alone.

<3 Contact me

last cut: 4 august 2010
last purge: 13 march 2010
  (#194 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 06:20 PM

I'm not going to lie to you,i know what's going on.
  (#195 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 09:52 PM

I know its bad, but i think i slightly resent you for getting going to the doctors after like a week of being depressed, whereas nearly 5 years on im scared to go to the doctors just for a chest infection incase he sees my scars.

Getting rejected for TH staff really hit me hard for some reason, it was my reason to keep going and the first postive thing ive done in a long time and i got rejected.


Lauren

"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though I’ve been in dark places, I’ve survived and learned and become stronger".




  (#196 (permalink)) Old
Tericon Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 09:59 PM

There's so many things i wish i could ask you, tell you, say to you.

Why are you making me wait? Why can't you have the courage to be honest with me?
  (#197 (permalink)) Old
The lightgreenness. :D
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 10:44 PM

I don't want to break my fast.
  (#198 (permalink)) Old
chanise Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 11:04 PM

I think ive ruined everything..


Always happy to help =)
I Love Andrea.... =)
Forever.
  (#199 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 17th 2009, 11:21 PM

I fake being ill sometimes 'cause it makes me feel better.
I resent my mum.
I despise my best friend.
I don't want my ED to stop.
I like cutting.
I fancy my boss and her girlfriend.
I want to go back into hospital because everyone will be nice to me again.
I've taught someone to purge and i hate myself for it.
Im a whore.


Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acid stains you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live.


♥ Family ♥ Animals ♥ Cats
  (#200 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - February 18th 2009, 04:31 AM

I can feel my mind begin slipping towards bad things again....but I still can't talk to you or tell you when I'm feeling this way. I think that you think its all fake anyway. How are we so different, Mom?


Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.


Music is life. Start living.
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