Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!
Games and Things Here you can find popular chit-chat threads like games and surveys.
Note: Posts made in this forum don't contribute towards your post count.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 18th 2009, 01:11 PM
Some times I think I'm being a cry baby...
and other times I'm planning my own suicide and its gonna happen someday, I will use one of my plans one of these days, I'm not sure when though, I still have to plan that out.
I'm never truly, truly happy...
only when I'm around him
I'm in love with my best guy friend...
but I know that will only get me hurt worse then I already am
Last time I cut: October 14th 2009
"Where can I turn? Cause I need something more, surrounded my uncertainty, I'm so unsure. Tell me why I feel so alone!"
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 18th 2009, 04:31 PM
I'm scared of needing anyone.
I'm constantly judging other people's motives.
I really don't like how much I love people sometimes.
Sometimes, I choose to be alone instead of with anyone.
I could have plans, but, I just don't have the energy.
01 // 10 // 11
Baby stand tall. You can have it all.
Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 18th 2009, 05:06 PM
i will wait forever for someone who doesn't feel anything for me.
im in love with being in love.
i can't get over my biggest fear of getting my heart broken again.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 22nd 2009, 04:26 AM
I'm worried you haven't replied to me yet
"Life is pain, anybody that says different is selling something" ~ Fezzik's Mother, The Princess Bride. ♥
"To die, would be an awfully big adventure."~ Peter Pan
"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."
~ The Buddha
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 22nd 2009, 01:07 PM
It hurt to not run into his arms after school today.
And maybe it's not even him I miss.
Just the comfort of knowing I loved him and he loved me.
I just need someone who cares.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 24th 2009, 01:56 AM
Sometimes, I wonder if she'd be better off without me...
"You've just been B-Wildered." -Brian Wilson <3
Trumpet love; Tenderlips.
"Where there is love there is life."- Mahatma Gandhi
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 24th 2009, 06:11 AM
I'm absolutely terrified of moving && I'm really not sure I want to anymore
I love him. But I shouldn't, be cause I'm moving 4000 miles away.
Sometimes I wish my parents went on holiday by themselves more often; I love the freedom my brother, sister and I have when they're not around!
Just Watch My Wildest Dreams Come True
Not One Of Them Involving YOU!
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 24th 2009, 08:09 AM
Sometimes I never truely think its gonna be over. Im so scared, This is not the end. Why cant I do it.. I want this more then anything.. I have no choice anymore.. Its too late
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 24th 2009, 06:28 PM
I'm afraid of going to hell. It's become an obsession. And I'm an Atheist.
It's easier for me to get close to people on line, because I can backspace anything I say that's stupid before ever hitting "enter".
I act like I don't care what people think. But deep down I need them to accept me.
I'm a compulsive liar. My list of secrets is endless, and I can't even name half of them. I've been lying since I could talk, and I know I can't stop. I figure it's too late anyways. And I've lied to you many times as well. I wish I could tell you all the things I've said which aren't true. I feel ready. But you would run from me so fast that I wouldn't even be able to say sorry.
People say I'm intelligent, but I still worry that I'm not smart enough, even though I know I could be on the honour roll if I ever attended or studied for my classes. Though I still jump at the chance to out-do my honour-roll friends. And I hate them every time they get their report cards.
~Where death is I am not, where I am death is not, so we never meet~
I'd rather die terrified
than live forever.
We will all die so gloriously, that having ever lived will seem like folly.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 24th 2009, 06:36 PM
For once I'm clear.
You scare me.
Everything scares me right now but... things with me and you are different to all the others. You're so close to me it's scary.
We're both so similar and yet so different.
This is fucked up.
I hope you make a decision soon.
<3
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 24th 2009, 11:38 PM
I feel like I'm reliving my childhood. And when I have my slight flashbacks soon afterward, I feel like a zombie with a rusty serrated blade twisting in my chest. Sometimes it feels like someone punctured on e of my lungs, and it's painful.
I'm afraid of letting everyone down.
And I can feel myself distancing from her, it always happens. She's really important to me, and I'm scared.
I overdose on anything I can get my hands on every day, just so I can survive. Which is ironic.
I cut everyday, just to ease the emotional pain. To bleed his dirt out of me.
I used to shower for hours, trying to get the dirt and grime off of my skin.
Most of all? I could change all of this. I just don't have the energy or motivation to.
"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and remember.
A child is listening."
-Mary Griffith
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 25th 2009, 09:44 AM
I wish I wasn't so afraid to find out who I am without it. I don't think I'm treatable anymore and I've given up trying to fight it. I've lost friends to it, but don't believe it'll ever get me.
Be who you are and say how you feel, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind ~ Dr. Seuss
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 25th 2009, 10:10 AM
i love you and i know at some point you loved me to weather you do now or not i will never know and dispite what i tell everyone and what everyone tells me i know you and her wont last forever or even much longer at that and when shes gone ill still be there and i will never leave you because you are the only love i know.
i miss you quite terribly and everyday it gets worse
is this how you feel?
come back
So, is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with.
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home.
I hope there's ice on all the roads.
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
and again when your head goes through the windshield.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 25th 2009, 10:23 AM
For some reason I still want to see him sometimes... Even though he shattered my life I sometimes go out of my way to see the guy who raped me. Then I totally regret it. I think it helps me stay calm when he talks to me or decides to tell me that 'we're going to do it again sometime'... I never want that to happen again...But it still makes me sick that I would ever purposly see him. I also want him to do something at school. I want him to push me or hit me. I want to get him locked up so bad that I would put my own self in danger... I neverever want him force me to do anything though... and that will NEVER change. I'm so scared that he is going to show up at my door when nobodys home... I'm scared the rest of his gang memebers are going to catch up to me when I'm alone... I'm scared because I want to die...
Originally joined: June 2008
" He has no remorse for his actions,
And feels nothing but pleasure.
To see her suffer is his joy-
And her innocence is his treasure. "
is this what you really want from me..?
Last edited by kaytastrophie_xo; January 25th 2009 at 01:20 PM.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 25th 2009, 10:43 AM
- I care about you so much and it kills me you are so far away! Just when I’m starting to get over you, I fall right back in there again. I <3 you so much and it's destroying me!
- Nobody knows how I really feel. Nobody knows I’m slowly dying inside. I put others before myself. Why do I do this?! I need to take care of myself before others…
- Why did you put me through that? It's how this emptiness all started…
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 25th 2009, 11:01 AM
I might be moving to another country soon.
I can imagine being without my family. I cried the first time I tried to imagine life without my best friend.
wir sind wie Eisblumen, wir blühen in der Nacht
we are like iceflowers, we bloom in the night
wir sind wie Eisblumen, viel zu schön für den Tag
we are like iceflowers, far too lovely for light
wir sind wie Eisblumen, kalt und schwarz ist unsere Nacht
we are like iceflowers, our night is cold and dark
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
January 25th 2009, 04:32 PM
I have a pathetic crush on my ex-best friend, who goes through boy/girlfriend like crazy, and is way to good for me. I hate being around her now, because I think everyone can tell.
Or maybe I'm just paranoid?