Say something you wish you could say to their face.

[Kate*]

You know, before grad school, you inflicted some of my WORST teacher-inflicted emotional abuse and trauma and if this is you, you live less than 10 miles from me.
That's totally creepy. I hope you're retired and you learned very soon after having me how to treat students like people because the thought that you got away with it for at least 20 years makes me sick.

Right, because unlike me you can still do what I wanted and also know everything. I'd LOVE to know how you got through the screening process with the lack of empathy you obviously have. And where did I say to lower expectations?! Oh, I didn't! This is why I don't like these people.

[Calaer]

I love you, and I hope you decide to show up, because if you don't, I'll be more than just a little upset. You know how I feel about this, so I hope you take me seriously.

I can't eat. I love you so much and I wish that I could eat for you but I can't. Not today, and probably not tomorrow either. I know it scares you, I know it hurts you, and believe me that I hate myself for that. But I can't eat. I can't. I'm sorry.

[Calaer]

I love you, and I wish I knew how to help you, or how to make things right, but I don't, and I'm so tired of wasting my time trying to figure all of this out.

[Kate*]

Stop judging me and being "sad" that you haven't seen me since Christmas or in years and stop shaming me for not wanting to see or deal with them! I'm a grown woman exercising my right to set boundaries with toxic people. It's not my fault they're family. Considering what I let the program do to me, you should consider this healthy and you would benefit from doing it too.

She's your mother, but you aren't forced to deal with her just because no one else wants to. She put herself here and most of the stuff she's dealing with she brought on herself and is either managing poorly or refusing to treat or deal with. I'm dealing with stuff I didn't even almost self-inflict, that even has the experts at a loss, but I'm doing what I can for myself, seeking help, and I don't use it as an excuse to make other people miserable.

Yes, he's my dad, but you know what he's like and I've been trying to deal with it for over 20 years. If he can't at least listen when I try to tell him, cutting as much contact as possible, especially now, is the healthiest decision I can make for myself. It's not my fault if he doesn't understand why.

[Calaer]

I love you, but I hate you, and I have no idea how to handle any of it.

Screw you.

[Kate*]

You said within 2 sessions that I'm not playing the victim. I must be doing something right.

You victimized me and then blamed me to the point that I believed that I was responsible for every last bit of your abuse towards me. And that's what it was, you know it. I am done apologizing for not expressing the socially expected or acceptable reaction. My situation is valid, my victimization was valid, and my emotions are valid whether you like it or not.

[Calaer]

I love you, but I'm not sure how much more of this I can handle. You're pushing me away and I'm not exactly trying to hold on.

[Kate*]

I accepted a long time ago that I will simply never be good enough for you. I'm not sure anyone ever will be. It's harder though, when you're here, in my space, and you won't let it go for the life of you. You don't have an excuse for not understanding this, I've tried to tell you a million times.


It's hard enough for me to accept this. I can't help you deal with it, too. This is the way it is, it's not my fault, I am trying, and it's not my fault that it'll never be good enough for you. I'm in the most severe category, so, no there aren't "people way more disabled" than me who work.

My brain broke my life, and you broke me.

I don't know why I still care, you obviously don't.

[Silvan]

When the second candle melts, it will be time to give up.

[Calaer]

I'm sorry for thinking that you had a life that wasn't as hard as the one I was living. I realize now that things aren't always as easy for you as they appear to be.

[Rivière]

You saying that to me last week was uncalled for and it's certainly made me take a step back from you. It's given me a lot of perspective on where our friendship is heading. It feels very one-sided right now.

[Calaer]

Life would be different knowing you weren't around anymore, but I can't tell if it would honestly be that bad of a thing, or if I wouldn't really care.

[Kate*]

As happy as I am for you, I wish it could've been me too. Given what I'm left with for "options", I feel like you get your dream in spite of your disability and I lost my entire life to mine. I want to believe He has a plan for me too, but given everything I've been put through, sometimes I can't believe he's even there.

[Calaer]

It feels nice to finally have peace. Hopefully with all that's on your plate now you'll leave us alone and we can move on with our lives.

[Rivière]

Thanks for putting me down. You're such a great friend.

[Storyteller.]

Suggestions for dealing with this in a mature, respectful manner:
- if you have an issue with me, bring it up with me in private rather than calling me out in a group chat and then leaving because you ''have a lot on your plate'' (also: remember that you are not the only one dealing with a lot at the moment and that doesn't give you a right to lash out at others)
- if you're going to accuse me of acting a certain way, please back it up with evidence instead of vague statements; I can't understand where you're coming from unless you point out specific instances where I did whatever you're saying I did
- try to keep in mind that you're only speaking from your perspective and that other people have their own unique views; your feelings and thoughts are entirely valid but that doesn't mean you can use them to belittle or dismiss me (or anyone else)
- instead of waiting until you reach a breaking point and then unleashing all your bottled up emotions at once, maybe try talking to me about them when they first become an issue so we can work together on trying to solve the issue before it becomes a real problem
- remember that you are speaking to a real, living person who has feelings and priorities and a lot going on right now, and if you want to keep this friendship it might be a good idea to start acting like a friend and stop expecting everyone to accommodate every single mistake or bad decision you make

[Ambedo.]

I don't know what changed, but I wish you had handled this differently. I shouldn't have found out the way that I did.

[Crybaby_JiminsLover_]

I lie to your face everyday when you say how are you? I say I'm fine but I'm not I'm not fine Im horrible actually cause my life is so fucked up but you wouldn't understand would you?

[Crybaby_JiminsLover_]

Your my best friend I know that because you supported me through everything BUT YOU DONT EVEN REALIZE OR CARE TO CONSIDER WHATS GOING ON WITH ME YOU TELL ME ALLL UR PROBLEMS AND I SUPPORT YOU THROUGH THEM I TELL U MY PROBLEMS AND YOU SAY "oh im sorry " YOU DONT GIVE ME ADVICE LIKE I DO AND THAT GETS ME MAD IT GETS ME UPSET YOU MAY BE MY BEST FRIEND BUT YOUR KIND OF A SHITTY BEST FRIEND YOU BITCH! AND SOMETIMES YOU KEEP THINGS TO UR OTHER FRIENDS IMPORTANT THINGS THAT BEST FRIENDS SHOULD KNOW BUT NOOOO YOU DON"T FUCKING TELL ME AND IT HURTS YA KNOW IT FUCKING HURTS< IF YOUR READING THIS YOU DEFINENTLY KNOW WHO YOU ARE,EVEN THOUGH I LOVE YOU BEST FRIEND YOUR KIND OF A SHITTY BEST FRIEND SOMETIMES YOU FUCKING BITCH!

[Calaer]

It feels so good to think of you and to not have that feeling of anger wash over me. I'm so happy that I'm able to move forward with my life, and that you aren't going to be a part of it.

[Kate*]

Even if we assume (your theory), that your behavior isn't dependent on mine, standing up for myself had zero affect on the outcome. Just because I didn't sit there and take it doesn't mean I deserved what you did. Even if I had given you the reaction you wanted, it wouldn't have made the criticism okay. And I still wouldn't be the cause of your giving it. If everyone is responsible for their own behavior and learning, then "Unless they're dealing with you" doesn't apply. I wasn't being demanding, disrespectful, and unprofessional. I was standing up against people who were projecting it. I was defensive and I had a right to be.

[Clarent]

NO, I CAn'T LEND YOU THIS CASH AND I WONT. I FUCKING NEED EVERY BUCK TO GET OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE OF A HOME THAT WE HAVE, I NEED TO SEPARATE MYSELF FROM THIS TRAINWRECK OF A FAMILY.

I don't want to go. I don't want to give you that money.

I... I can't, I simply can't.

[daisy_jam]

I wish I could tell you how petrified I am about going back to work

[Calaer]

I wish you were in my life, but we both know you've changed so much. I just wish things were easier, and that I knew what to do. If this happens how we want it, I really wish I could trust you to be here, and be apart of this, but can I trust you? Can I trust you not to go ruining our happiness, or to try and make things difficult and full of drama? Help me out here, because I'm lost when it comes to knowing what to do about you.

I love you. I miss you. I wish things were back to normal.

[Kate*]

No, you don't have the right to call first thing in the morning, at a time when you KNOW I won't answer the phone, leave an angry message, and then demand that I call you on MY birthday. This was my day to spend how I wanted which I did, and it didn't involve dealing with you because I didn't want to. No, the world doesn't revolve around you. And, yes, I know you probably want me to call you before you leave the COUNTRY next week, except you didn't bother to tell me that when I did talk to you less than a month ago. As painful as it is, I'm making the right decision in not engaging with you right now.

Yes, "no longer interested" means what it says. You can't be that desperate.
Everyone is "desperate for" people until I show up.

[fallenskies]

I love you. You'll never return my feelings but I can't help it. I love you too much. I'm in too deep already. It's too late for me to get out.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I am really scared. She has to be ok. I just want to cry. I don't want her sick.

[oddity]

I'm sorry. I'm trying to fix things, but I don't know what to do

~Remy

[fallingstargirl]

I'm so, so, so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you until now. I should've been right with you through this whole thing since the minute you told me about it. I should've followed up with you. I put so much distance between us when I should've been there for you. Please, please remember I'm here now. You mean the world to me, I love you, and I can't lose you. Please please please remember that you always have us. I love you and I miss you and you need to hang in there for 46 more days so I can see you and give you a hug.

[London_grace]

Why are you so mean and hurtful to me.

[Kate*]

For the record, I wouldn't change anything about my healing process. I don't care if you think "suffering is a choice", I'm doing the best I can to survive and rebuild. I doubt you could survive my 29 years, but when you have, feel free to judge my "choices" and life all you want.

[London_grace]

Please stop all of the hurtful words. It's too much.

[London_grace]

I still miss grandma.

[Everglow.]

I wish someone would just listen to me about this stuff. I know that when I move back in, I'm going to have boxes of stuff I can't unpack because there's no room for it, and you're going to get frustrated, I'm going to get frustrated, and everyone will get upset. Just listen to me. I'm not stupid. I know what I'm talking about and I'm not asking you to spend out any money on anything, I just want to be able to have space in the house I'll be living in.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm saying prayers for her, so she will be ok during surgery Tuesday morning.

[Calaer]

I love you, I do, but I can't be so focused on you, that I forget to take care of myself or my family, and I'm just sorry to let you know that.

[Storyteller.]

I'm not trying to cause trouble. I actually pretty much never try to cause trouble. The only reason I'm being so persistent is that this is actually urgent and I just want it fixed. It shouldn't be this difficult and I'm quickly losing my patience.