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  (#6161 (permalink)) Old
Alucard Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 3rd 2013, 04:46 AM

I know you want to take the next step and meet them. But something keeps holding me back. I don't know what it is. I'm scared and I can't help but think that were turning into Ted and Robin. I can help but feel as if we have an expiration date. You want kids and I want to travel. This really sucks.
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  (#6162 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 3rd 2013, 11:31 AM

I hate you so much.


"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

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"Civilize the mind, but make savage the body."
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  (#6163 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 3rd 2013, 01:06 PM

You think you're so cool and 'individual' and interesting, but you're just a jerk. You look ridiculous.


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  (#6164 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 6th 2013, 04:11 PM

Wow, just wow so much for "maturity" and what is with the language? This is why I avoid that.


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  (#6165 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 8th 2013, 02:31 AM

I feel I don't matter to you at times.

~ Christabel
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  (#6166 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 8th 2013, 06:38 PM

My mistake: being wrong and not researching before I debate a f***ing 15 year old
Yours: Being a total A**H*** and not letting it go even though I've given up and I AGREE WITH YOU! Did you miss that?!

-Yes I'm jealous of you and I really have good reason to be, but be careful not to let your knowledge and perceived power go to your head. You are not superior to other people, but you come off like you think you are. I'm surprised no one's said anything to you about it.


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  (#6167 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 12th 2013, 06:31 PM

You have GOT to be KIDDING ME! and of course you are a doc student (at least you have a license), but my history with doc candidate professors, NOT GOOD

It's official, my personality will cause me to fail again and if it happens a third time I will be dismissed before I graduate. So much for my dream career maybe I'm just kidding myself into thinking I could do it.


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  (#6168 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 12th 2013, 06:44 PM

Do I just not matter to you unless I'm depressed or manic?

I'm sorry that my moods have been so escalated. I want to be better, for you.


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-EAP-

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  (#6169 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 12th 2013, 06:54 PM

I still love you.


And here you are living, despite it all.
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  (#6170 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 12th 2013, 08:33 PM

I can't stop thinking about you...I just can't get you out of my head.


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 12th 2013, 10:29 PM

Kiss me.

~ Christabel
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  (#6172 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 13th 2013, 02:48 PM

I love you so much, I wish I could be there with you right now and in your arms. You want something to happen with us, and I can't wait. I love you soo damn much <3

Jay.


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  (#6173 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 13th 2013, 03:55 PM

I really hope that you and I wind up okay.


"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"

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"Civilize the mind, but make savage the body."
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  (#6174 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 13th 2013, 05:13 PM

You all abandoned me just because I have depression, and other attached problems. How is that my fault? How is that even right?


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  (#6175 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 14th 2013, 01:43 AM

I'm not special enough to even respond to? I guess I really don't mean anything.

~ Christabel
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  (#6176 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 14th 2013, 01:57 AM

You really need to make up your mind, "Don't go to class if you're sick" and "miss more than one class lose points/risk failing" kind of contradict each other. PICK ONE or do the departments that make these decisions not communicate?


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Last edited by Kate*; January 14th 2013 at 03:26 AM.
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  (#6177 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 14th 2013, 04:18 PM

I can't deal with this anymore. I love you, okay? I love you and I thought you at least liked me but no, you like her. Out of the blue, from completely nowhere, you can't live without her. And its killing me. I'm jealous of her in every way, she's so much prettier, so much more talented, she's everything that I'm not. But I thought we could have something, hell, you're the one that kissed me! What the fuck happened to that, beats the shit out of me, but I can't live without you.
and that's almost.... the main reason I want to die.
I'm alone again, Mimi broke up with me, and Matthew, I just need you. I never had you, I know that, I never had a chance really, but I can't do this anymore. I can't live without you. So perfect, so caring, and suddenly, what am I to you?
Invisible.
Annoying and invisible.
Probably ugly, probably worthless, nothing to you at all.
Mimi left me, Elena, Kate, Zoa, you, all of everyone is leaving me here in the darkness.
You have no idea how much I so badly want to slice up my arms, not eat anything for just... days and days... and to die. That above all... then you could be happy with Zoa. Matthew and Zoa....
Mimi and some amazing person she deserves.
Jack and whoever is good enough for him.... jack's the only thing keeping me alive right now.
you..... Matthew, without knowing it, you're killing me.
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  (#6178 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 15th 2013, 05:51 PM

I know at least one of them won't be bad AT ALL, but I still have 3 to go and at least one of those is scaring me to death. And yes I went to class with a fever last night, I'm better today, but still not perfect. I will go again tonight, if you get sick from me blame the policies. No I have no idea what it is, but it's not bad enough to be the flu. How many times did I say I CAN'T AFFORD TO GET SICK and it hits me the day I come back?! what the hell?!

Thanks for telling me to "breathe" and I'll "be fine" This was nothing, if only you knew how bad it really can get and did get over this. Also, I get kicked out if it happens one more time and I'm not confident about my abilities anymore which will cause a self fulfilling prophecy. I've wanted this since I was 12, and the idea that it could be ripped away from me in a split second over PERSONALITY TRAITS terrifies me. I really don't think you get that.
There is no plan B, this was plan B and I never needed a plan C, so if this doesn't happen the way it's supposed to I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life.


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Last edited by Kate*; January 16th 2013 at 05:43 AM.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 16th 2013, 04:56 AM

I guess you don't think of me as much as I think of you. I put more effort in this to make it work and make you happy. I'm not worth being remembered.

~ Christabel
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  (#6180 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 16th 2013, 06:18 AM

You know it's your fault, why can't you admit your mistake and patch things up rather then blame me for it.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 23rd 2013, 07:28 PM

You are one of, if not my favorite professors, but don't ask why I'm suddenly scared of you. I have no idea, but you aren't the only person this has happened with so I know it's something wrong with me. I feel like I could seriously spill my guts to you and you would actually HEAR me. Thank you for seeing me and knowing my name; it means more than it probably should.Treating me like and respecting me as a human being shouldn't qualify you as one of my best professors, it should just be expected and becoming a favorite of mine should take a lot more than that. It's really sad in a way that i'm that sensitive, but if you let me tell my story you'd understand why.

That was completely f***ing pointless and uncomfortable. You think he was drunk and he was next to me, but I don't think he was. It might just be his normal state; good practice for a future counselor I guess, I will have people who irritate and annoy me, better to prepare now.


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Last edited by Kate*; January 24th 2013 at 12:45 AM.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 23rd 2013, 07:45 PM

That kind of stung.


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  (#6183 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 24th 2013, 01:42 AM

CS- I'm sorry for causing so much drama for you. I shouldn't have let this happen; you're my ex, I can't do this. I put us both in danger for letting us have sex, and now everyone is finding out and so I understand if you hate me. But part of me still loves you. I'm just so sorry. And if you don't want to ever hear my voice or see my disgusting face, fine. So I'll leave.

MO-I'm sorry you had to find out this way about C and me doing it.... I do really love you but I'm not sure what we are or if we'll ever really have anything romance wise. I'm just so confused. But you know, sometimes it gets annoying when the only thing you ever care about is My Chemical Romance, and I feel like I can't talk to you about anything anymore. There's a reason you know... I don't want to hurt you. When I'm gone, I just hope you can stay strong, please for me. You've worked so hard, one mistake from me.... please don't throw it all away for the stupid ex-girlfriend with a bag full of secrets... Oh, and, I'm terribly jealous of you, just how you're so perfect in every way, and I will never be. That's why MC left me you know... because you were so wonderful. You deserve someone just as perfect.... not me. So I'll leave.

JH-Thank you... I just really need to say thank you. The past month or so, its like you're one of the only people who I know I can truthfully talk to, and you'll listen. I won't lie, since you'll never actually see this, but I have gained some feelings for you. Just because it feels like you care. And you might just be another guy leading the easy girl on, but it feels really wonderful having you to talk to. But I just can't do this anymore. It hurts to stay alive when no one cares or wants me anyways. So I'll leave.

AG- I really hope everything turns out okay for you, and if not soon, then I just hope you're safe. But I'm hoping that nothing I do ever drags you down like so many girls have been dragged before. So I'll leave.

KH- You've always been there for me, thank you so much babydoll. You've helped me through the hardest times of my life, saved me from so much shit and suicides, and you're just one awesome friend. But I can't take it anymore. And I'll leave.

ZG- I was never mad at you, ever. I'm trying to be happy for you, but me, the pessimist, its impossible for me to be happy at all. The way he looks so happy with you, a happiness I'd never given him....I'm so jealous its torturing me. So I'll leave.

MC- there's a reason I left you for last. Its because I love you, with everything I am, so much that it kills me to not hear your voice or feel your warmth or taste your love in return for mine. I'm just 15 they say, you're just obsessed they say, he's just going to manipulate you they say. Well maybe you used me, I don't care, because I love you. I know I do. You were the first and only person who ever really made me feel worth it. So I need to thank you... just for everything. First kiss. First "I love you". First time sexual. And then you left me for MO, and that's understandable, she's so much better than me. But it hurt.... it hurt so much. And then months passed, and you seemed to come back to me, well not really, but it felt so perfect again, I just.... died when it ended. It was, though awful as a result, everything I had wished love would be. I felt so.... alive. I'm sorry things ended with her, but thank you for saving me from a swirling pool of loneliness. Now you seem to be really happy with ZG, and I understand that she is so much prettier and sweeter than me as well as MO.... so I understand that too. Whatever I did to make you okay to leave me twice.... I'm sorry. I wish I would have been good enough, because I know I can't live without you. I'm sorry for being annoying, for being pathetic and fake, and for anything I ever did to cause you trouble. I'm just... sorry.... so I'll leave.
43.

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 25th 2013, 09:21 AM

Why won't you tell me you love me? I miss you, dad, and you're just making this worse as the days pass by.


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-EAP-

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 25th 2013, 09:38 AM

I really like you. A lot. To be honest, I've fantastised us kissing a few times. And when you leaned in close to me to ask what would happen to gay christians, wow, seriously, are you hinting you want something. When you were falling asleep on my shoulder I wanted to kiss your head. I love you.

Jay.


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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 26th 2013, 01:56 PM

You said we could be friends, apparently that's changed without warning..why.

It's been almost 6years since you left..I still blame myself for it, partly because I was told it was my fault..wish you could come back but that's impossible.
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  (#6187 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 26th 2013, 05:44 PM

Leave me alone. I'm not well enough for this right now. I'm on edge constantly.

Just let me do my own thing right now. I need to make myself better, not worry about this shit.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 26th 2013, 07:35 PM

Leave him alone >_____< He does more for you than most people do. You're so ungrateful :| You're making him depressed again -_____- If he even thinks about doing anything stupid I will go fucking mental >_____< I'm not as quiet as you may think.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 26th 2013, 07:52 PM

I'm either invisible or in trouble. See me when I'm not in trouble, hear me when I speak. WHY IS THAT SO HARD?!?!


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 27th 2013, 08:26 PM

I'm not feeling into the relationship like I did before...now that I think about it...are we really different from each other? You want kids down the road and I don't. I want to travel and see the world. Move to Utah and work at Best Friends. We both want different things...how is this going to work? I'm sorry
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 28th 2013, 12:33 AM

This year I want to visit your grave, sing a bit of that song they played at your funeral, and lay down some flowers for you.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 28th 2013, 01:19 AM

CAN I JUST PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE????
You make the simplest but most noticeable mistakes.
HOW CAN YOU DO THAT.
WHY AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION.
Why didn't you tell us before submitting?
Why didn't you mention that you were a bit overwhelmed and could use some help!?
I'M SO UPSET RIGHT NOW.
RAR.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 28th 2013, 01:45 AM

I'd work harder than anyone else here if you'd just let me breathe a little.



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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 28th 2013, 12:22 PM

Apparently "class schedule posted at 8AM" doesn't really mean 8AM (or something is going wrong for me) I got up just for this and I want to register please NOW!

Okay, and since when are summer classes available as view only!?!? If I'd known that I wouldn't have gotten up so early


I guess I didn't screw that up as bad as I thought. Considering that the thing I was responding to made no sense I appreciate the full points.


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Last edited by Kate*; January 28th 2013 at 11:56 PM.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 28th 2013, 07:21 PM

I don't think you think at all. Go rent a brain and give it a try. It feels good. Especially the first time. Then you get used to it and the excitement wears off. That's when you become a normal person.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 28th 2013, 07:40 PM

My skin's thick from dealing with assholes like you. I have this habitual need to satisfy some part of myself by rubbing your own shit in your face until you taste your own medicine.


"I don't care about politics"
Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 28th 2013, 10:32 PM

Awe, look at you acting like the bigger dog in all this. Hey screw you bro.



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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - January 28th 2013, 10:48 PM

I wish you wouldn't only talk to me when you're lonely.


And here you are living, despite it all.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - February 1st 2013, 02:35 PM

I miss you.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - February 1st 2013, 03:19 PM

If you're happier with me leaving you alone, then okay. But I just want you to know that I don't want to leave you alone, its just that when I look at you or hear your voice it kills me. I'm scared of you. And you probably don't care because I'm not anything to you.
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