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Religion and Spirituality, Science and Philosophy Use this forum to discuss what you believe in. This is a place where everyone may share their views freely.

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Question Religion being forced upon me? - December 3rd 2015, 11:32 PM

Hey guys,
I decided to join teenhelp because I really want advice on an issue that's been bothering me for a long time but i don't really have anyone to talk about this with.
I'm 15 years old and I was raised as a Catholic, I was baptised and made my Communion and Confirmation. I have been going to church every Sunday for my whole life. To be honest, I have never really enjoyed it but especially in the past year ive been questioning what I do and don't believe. However, I still continued going to the church but in May I finally plucked up the courage to tell my mum how I feel and that I don't want to go to the church for mass every week. I thought that she would understand and respect my opinions and beliefs, considering I am 15 but I didn't get the response I want. She told me that if I dont go to mass every week she will feel like she has failed as a mother, even though my brother stopped going a few months before, at 17. She told me first I can make my own mind up when I'm 18 but she lowered that to 17 when I pointed out about my brother.
I'm so hurt that my own mother thinks so little of me as to not let me have my own beliefs. Forcing me to go every week is pretty much making me be someone I'm not which I think it extremely unfair for a 15 (almost 16) year old.
I'm not an atheist, at least for now. I'm actually not sure what I believe. I do know however that going to church every single weekend is not for me and it isn't something I want to do.
Can you guys give me any help or advice? How can I prove to my mother that I'm old and mature enough to make up my own mind and have my own religious beliefs, and convince her that I shouldn't have to go to church every week? I'm sick of being treated like this
   
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Re: Religion being forced upon me? - December 4th 2015, 02:39 AM

I understand how you feel. Religion is constantly forced upon me growing up. Its the main reason I left organized religion. But I'd suggest trying to show her by acting mature. Try telling her with more of a since of confidence and calmness. And if she can't see it with that. you may have to embrace the suck until she does. And for me when I have to go to church I don't see it as a going to worship god. But to learn what others believe and why they believe it. So if you have to embrace the suck and go try seeing it like that.
   
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Re: Religion being forced upon me? - December 4th 2015, 03:23 AM

Your mom sounds like my mom, so I'll explain what my mom would be like if I quit (which I probably won't anytime soon). My mom has been trying for my entire life to instill in my family Catholic values and an enthusiasm for Church teaching that has mostly worked quite well, and she takes a ton of pride knowing that as a family, we're all united under the same faith. But she is actually the weak link if we decide to jump ship; she has tried so hard and invested so much into it that she's gone completely overboard from time to time in her views (she won't yield even a little bit on abortion/contraception, gay marriage, divorce(?), infallibility of the Church, and other strange things) and logically, if we quit, it would most likely be because we thought she was completely ridiculous, effectively making it her fault. For her though, because being Catholic is so important to her, it would destroy her idea that for 20+ years she was a good, Catholic mother who raised good, Catholic sons. Not to mention, she thinks our family being at mass together is an indicator to being a good family, and if we stopped, she would think the unity is lost. (some of this could have been edited down to reduce space)
The message on this site is usually "you first" because the assumption is that the issues we have on here eat away at our psyche, but if I were you, I would weigh how this effects everyone involved first.


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