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Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ennui. Offline
Living the dream.

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Name: Dez
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Untitled Poem - May 26th 2013, 12:48 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.



Bleed just to stay alive for another day.
Slice into your skin, into your feelings, into your sins.
Burn, because the fire dancing represents
All your wasted dreams, your haunted nightmares, and your new self.
Cry, because this is not what you signed up for:
A life centered around feeding the blade, the match, the knife.
To quiet the voices in your head saying
You're worthless. They die as they run crimson red down your arms.
Self harm is a way of life for you now,
There is no escaping this. You've done it this time, baby.

This one's not good at all. :/ I've written better. So I really need edits and constructive criticism. I'd love to edit this.


Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive

Last edited by Ennui.; May 26th 2013 at 03:02 PM.
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DeletedAccount17
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Re: Untitled Poem - May 26th 2013, 07:21 AM

I always get all giddy when you post stuff. I know I'll love it. And yet again, I do! I honestly don't see how you could edit this. It's really amazing, honest.

One thing, towards the end, you have this:

Quote:
Self harm is a way of life for you now, and
There is no escaping this. You've done it this time, baby.
I think it might look better without the "and". Doesn't seem like it fits well. Otherwise, you wrote this amazingly and I don't think it needs edits. Good work, Dezzyface.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Ennui. Offline
Living the dream.

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Name: Dez
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Re: Untitled Poem - May 26th 2013, 03:02 PM

Thanks! I've taken out the "and" since, you're right, it does seem better without.


Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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